DEATH BATTLE
by DeadAliveManiac
Summary: Two characters enter, only one will leave alive. Famous and infamous characters of TV, movies, comics, games, and lore will be brought to life to see who will be left alive. DAM and Zivon look at the weapons, armor, and abilities of the warriors of fiction before them to decide who would win a Death Battle.
1. Carrie White vs Magneto

"Throughout the literature of novels and comic books, mutants have been a favored subject to write about."

"Like Carrie White, the telekinetic girl of Stephen King, and Magneto, the archenemy of the X-men."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon and we're looking at these warriors' weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"Carrie White was the daughter of two religious fanatics, her father dying before her birth and her unhinged mother raising her. Shunned and tormented throughout her schooling for her beliefs and awkwardness, Carrie's torment hit a peak when she got her first period."<p>

"Like most women, she flipped the switch from lady in the streets to freak who can move shit with her mind! Seriously, what the fuck?!"

"Yes, Carrie found out she had telekinesis, the ability to move objects with one's mind. She soon began to craft her trade..."

"Craft? This chick is a witch! Look at that, she's lifting books and her bed! Witch, burn her!"

"Actually, in the book, King states that the ability is passed every other generation between women, Carrie's grandmother has it and other women around the world do as well."

"So this girl's like a girl from one night stand? Like, she can guilt trip me and call me an asshole?"

"No, that's telepathy, which carry does seem to have as she can tell Sue Snell is not responsible for the events of prom night from her thoughts."

"Moving from one place to another?"

"No, that's teleportation."

"You mean like driving cars?"

"What? No, that's transportation! Anyway, Carrie mastered her power and was asked to prom by a Tommy Jarvis."

"Unfortunately, resident bitch Sue Snell and her boyfriend Billy decided to further ruin her by dumping pigs blood on her. But that chick got raped later, so, whose laughing now? Also, is Carrie Jewish?"

"Shut up. This event finally made her snap, Carrie went on a rampage and locked the doors, burned down the school, electrocuted students, and even emptied out fire hydrants so it could not be put out."

"Wow, it's almost like fire trucks don't carry water on them?"

"Well, assuming the average size of an American school and the amount of water held in a firetruck..."

"Spare us, save the math for the cool stuff."

"Like her feats? Carrie has among the strongest telekinetics ever, she can lift a car, rain rocks from the sky, stop a heart from beating, tell the gender of a baby, and destroy a house with just her mind."

"Really? Do you think she could..."

"She's 17."

"What's the age of consent in Maine?"

"Well, it was the 70's so I'd guess...Wait, why am I getting sucked into this!? She is not untouchable, however. Carrie was stabbed and mortally wounded by her mother because she did not sense danger. Her powers seem to weaken when she is hurt as she struggled to get her mother off of her when she attempted to finish her off. And her emotions have a direct correlation to her powers..."

"No shit, she meats Aunt Flow once and turns a school into an Auschwitz brick oven!"

"Her emotions can break her focus and her control of her power is not as effective."

"Despite all of that, Carrie is the last chicks you don't want to skip out on calling the morning after."

A boy rides by on a bike, chanting, "Creepy Carrie, Creepy Carrie!" before his bike is thrown to the ground.

* * *

><p>Carrie:<p>

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 110 lbs.

Weapons:

Telekinesis

Any object, including your own body

Feats:

Lifting a car

Killing off her entire class

Raining rocks from the sky

Destroying houses

Reading minds

Weaknesses:

Her Mother

Needs focus

Powers weaken when injured for a short time

* * *

><p>"Magneto is the archenemy of the X-men, a group of mutants who protect humanity."<p>

"The opposite of the Kardashians?"

"Yes. He has declared war on non-mutants and plots world domination, but does so to prevent a Holocaust from happening to the mutants."

"Despite kicking Nazi ass, Magneto has the power of polarity, a telekinesis over metal objects. His abilities allow him to lift 30,000 ton submarines, open wormholes, and mess with molecules, though this is a daunting task."

"Magneto wears a helmet that prevents all but the strongest telepathic attacks. He can use his magnetic powers to create a shield around him that blocks most matter and energy that he sees, being able to survive thermonuclear blasts and the vacuum of space. He can also sustain flight and make himself superhumanly strong and enduring. He has also shown to be a genius and a cunning strategist."

"Holy crap, how does this guy not succeeded? He's frickin' iron Bear Jew!"

"Well, usually it's an entire team of mutants who defeat him. But, Magneto has a superiority complex and often underestimates his opponents when he is close to victory. His plans and attacks akin to Carrie's take a lot of time and energy out of him. One last chink in his armor is his reliance on a team, he seldom works alone towards major goals and even when with a crew he loses in one-on-one battle."

"Still, if you can lift the pride and joy of Russia and be a villain and hero at once, you're okay in my book."

Magneto raises a stunned man off the ground, uttering, "Too much iron in your blood."

* * *

><p>Magneto:<p>

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 190 lbs.

Weapons:

Metallic Telekinesis

Any metal object

Feats:

Lifted a 30,000 ton submarines

Can survive explosions and space

Nearly immune to telepathic attacks

Can boost his performance in battle

Weaknesses:

Reliant on alliances

Superiority Complex

Anger issues

Poor judgment during key events

Not tactical

* * *

><p>"Alright, these two combatants are set."<p>

"Now, we just have to wait for a DEATH BATTLE!"

* * *

><p>A girl in a white dress stained in blood shambles out of a burning school, an unwaveringly disturbed look across her face. A rift opens before her in the parking lot, a man in a red suit, cape, and helmet floats out, arms crossed.<p>

**FIGHT!**

Magneto moves his hands towards a light pole, ripping it out of the ground and flinging it through the air at the girl. Carrie catches the pole and skids on her feet back a few inches, shooting the pole back at the man with a furious shriek. Magneto laughs as the pole comes to a stop _just_ before him, turning it 90 degrees and ramming it into the ground. Carrie remains unfazed, turning to a van and propelling it at Magneto, an explosion instantly engulfing him on impact. As the flames and smoke cleared, Magneto slowly floated towards Carrie, a barely visible bubble engulfing him. He dropped to the ground, arms crossed as he shouted, "Go home, little human, this is not your place tonight."

Carrie cracked a smile as she stomped the ground, a large crack moving snaking towards Magneto, a large piece of the blacktop jutting upwards and rocketing Magneto back into the air, the mutant thinking, _This girl is telekinetic beyond what I can control, I have to finish this._

Magneto sped down at her, spearing Carrie into the ground, nearly knocking his helmet off as they slammed onto the cement. Magneto rose to his feet as carry lie limp, her blank eyes looking around as her head slowly rolled around, looking to find her target in a daze. "Pitiful human." Magneto said, rising the light pole out of the ground.

Carrie's gaze instantly met Magneto's, a whimpering voice echoing in his head, _You'll burn in Hell. There is no salvation for you. _Magneto laughed, "Is that the best you can do, fanatic?"

Suddenly, a hard object crashed against the back of Magneto's head, his helmet nearly coming loose once more. The angered mutant looked beside him, a large rock cracking the road. "Enough!" Magneto shouted, ripping the corsage from Carrie's dress and up her cheek, the pin slicing deep.

He continued to laugh as he brought the pole up above Carrie, readying to bring it down. Carrie rose a haggard, gnarled hand at Magneto, the mutant instantly stopping his assault, a look of shock on his face. Magneto gasped and screamed, Carrie's smile growing more twisted with each cry. Magneto grasped the cape tightening around his throat, unable to get between it and his neck and pry it free. He dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his purple face as Carrie stood up and limped towards him, aiming her other hand down lower as she whispered, "Do you feel that? I'm making your heart slow. Feel the beats getting farther apart, are you sleepy? Sh, little devil, go to your underworld. Pray with me."

"Fuck you!" he uttered in his strained, hoarse voice.

Carrie grimaced at the words and clenched the hand aimed at his heart, Magneto's eyes going wide as he grasped his chest, collapsing as blood trickled from his mouth.

**K.O.!**

"Shit, here comes the X-Men fanboy rage!"

"While Magneto is far more powerful than Carrie, he is only able to control objects composed of metal. Carrie can manipulate the things Magneto wears and even his own body against him. His shield is impenetrable to attack, but his attacks, like Carrie require his absolute focus. Finally, Carrie is a very in-the-moment fighter, seeking any tactical advantage to help her in the long run, while Magneto seeks the long term. In the end, Magneto would need to plan to face Carrie, even then her powers could have gotten stronger than his."

"Carrie really X'd out Magneto."

"The winner is Carrie White."

Next time on Death Battle:

An alien in a metal mask drops down from a tree, aiming a cannon on its shoulder. The triple-laser aiming system comes across an invisible distortion, a disembodied voice saying, "I see you."

**Hello guys, DeadAliveManiac here once again with another new story. Wait, what? This was an idea I had for a while but didn't think I'd be able to do justice. I'm diving in and hoping I do just that. Opinions are welcome, just keep them respectful. Submissions are encouraged and I will use any I can. Thanks guys, see you soon. This is DeadAliveManiac signing off, saying, cite your DAM sources!**


	2. The Predator vs The Hidden

"Invisibility, a power people like DAM would love to use to its fullest exploitable abilities."

"Yeah, and no two bastards are luckier than the Predator, the galactic hunter, and subject 617, the Hidden."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, we're here to look at these warriors' weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"Born natural killers, the Predators were a formidable foe of any alien species they came across."

"They're a super advanced society where life revolves around hunting, killing, and turning your enemies into trophies. Kinda like the Ted Nugents of the galaxy, except less crazy and politically backwards."

"They are just that, they have their own unique alphabet displayed on a wrist device that controls several of their main tools."

"Yeah, it controls the vision in their masks, such as heat, x-ray, electromagnetic, and cloaking vision to see other invisible Predators. It also cloaks the Predator and works as a massive bomb to kill anybody too close or any technology left on the Predator so it does not fall into the wrong hands."

"The mask they where also makes it easier for them to breathe in Earth's atmosphere as it would be much harder to do so without it. As for their physique, the Predators stand about 7 feet tall and are strong enough to barrel through doors and break concrete with their bare fists, so human bones and skull could be crushed by a punch with the force stronger than a jackhammer. They are also resilient, able to survive fights from high falls without any damage, never seem to age, in fact they get deadlier, and can survive the tail strike of a xenomorph in non-vital areas like it was nothing."

"Yeah, but fortunately, the Predator doesn't use fisticuffs. He fights with a large arsenal, the plasma caster on his shoulder, a telescopic combispear, a smart disc that flies at his opponents with the force to cut a man in half, and its most famous weapon, the wrist blades."

"The Predator is a difficult foe in battle as it is much stronger than a man and, with the help of chemicals, can regenerate lost limbs. They are very cunning hunters, able to lead prey into ambushes and traps, once being outnumbered nearly a dozen to one while its heat vision was obstructed."

"Plus, these guys are badass, they hunt xenomorphs, the most dangerous humans, and pretty much every alien you can think of, especially Mexicans."

"NO! The Predators are proud warriors, finding it more honorable to die in the hunt than come home empty handed. Despite their proud warrior mentality and boosted physicality, they are not invulnerable."

"One major drawback is mud or lighting a fire around yourself, it can trick the Predator's infrared vision if it doesn't think you're nearby. Plus, maintaining those dreads can't be easy."

"Actually, those are tentacles growing from their skull. Predator's also have a tendency to engage worthy opponents in melee combat, ditching even their breathing apparatus, which does impair their ability in the fight. Another key thing is they may overwhelm themselves as hunters, more than once creating too many xenomorphs that overwhelmed them and forced them to use massive self-destruction."

"But, these scary bastards still beat everything before them, making themselves gods in the process."

Lt. Harrigan looks into the eyes of the Predator hanging on his arm on a ledge, uttering, "Alright, asshole, your move."

The Predator crudely replies, "Shit...happens."

* * *

><p><p>

Predator:

Height: 7'

Weight: 240 lbs.

Weapons:

Superhuman strength, endurance

Combispear

Plasma Caster

Smart Disc

Wrist Blades

Feats:

Incredibly strong and durable, able to shrug off being shot

Killed nearly a dozen scientists attempting to capture it

Kill nearly ever being in the galaxy for sport, even capture them themselves

Several different fields of vision

Weapons resistant to xenomorph acid blood

Can regenerate limbs, but takes time

Weaknesses:

Too prideful

Often hunt alone against multiple enemies

Always killed by one enemy

Infrared can be tricked

Wrist device controls helmet and plasma caster, can be damaged and ruin themselves

* * *

><p><p>

"In the 1950's, human genetic experimentation began to boom, Infinitum Research began to experiment with mutating DNA. In the 1990's, they created a cloaking device in a man's DNA, subject 617 was born."

"However, like anything impossible to see, the Hidden escaped the lab and had a bunch of guys hunt after him. Sounds like a dream of Freddie Mercury's..."

"The Hidden is near-completely invisible, leaving only a slight distortion of objects behind him. He can leap large distances, lift cars, fling full drum barrels at opponents, stick to walls, and see their auras, telling him where his enemies are and how hurt they are."

"He uses two weapons, the first is a water bottle-like grenade that uses pure explosion and no shrapnel. He usually carries three, which is good since even at point-blank the explosion severely stuns a human but doesn't kill them. His main weapon is a KA-BAR knife, which he uses for slashing, stabbing and his most powerful attack, the pig stick."

"The pig stick uses a concentrated force of energy that causes instant dismemberment of anyone hit. However, the pig stick needs to be a dead on hit, missing by even an inch does nothing to the person so he has to be fairly close, it takes time to use, and can only kill one at a time."

"That, and the sound of the swing gives him away, so if he misses, he's most likely dead."

"Another thing is the deteriorated mental state of the Hidden, he often taunts and toys with his prey before killing them, calling out to them in a ghostly voice, lifting objects or appearing and leaping away from a target to cause terror. This tactic often leads to the Hidden being easier to kill. Finally, the Hidden can be blinded by certain weapons, leaving him vulnerable for about 20 seconds."

"But, come on, the guy's near impossible to see and kill, plus that voice is just as fucking scary as having Morgan Freeman call out to you in the middle of the night."

Two IRIS members walk down a hall, a grenade bouncing at them and blasting them to opposite walls. An invisible force drops form the sealing, slashing the throat of one soldier while pig sticking the other, his skull exploding.

* * *

><p><p>

Subject 617:

Height: Classified

Weight: Classified

Weapons:

KA-BAR

Grenades

Heavy objects it can throw

Feats:

Can lift a car or a full drum barrel with ease

Incredibly fast and can jump great distances

Near Perfect invisibility

Can see opponent's auras

Adept in isolating and killing opponents

Can heal by cannibalizing corpses

Weaknesses:

Susceptible to grenade stun

Can be blinded temporarily

Toys with prey, leading to being killed

Grenades are not immediately fatal

Pig stick needs to be used close and accurately

* * *

><p><p>

"Alright, these two combatants are set."

"We've got to invisible dudes going in, one getting an all expenses paid trip to the woman's bath lodge."

"Really?"

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p><p>

Two IRIS hunters search through an office building for Subject 617, turning around every so often to make sure he has not gotten behind them. Then, a sound comes out to them, something they are not familiar with, something like a woodpecker tapping against wood. Then, an invisible being drops down from the ceiling with a thunderous thud, the two men cocking their guns at it. The man in front readies to pull the trigger on his shotgun, but his back is instantly sprayed by a thick liquid. He turns to see the exploded remains of his friend behind him, blood and gore caking his back. The man now screams hysterically as two jagged blades rip through his stomach. With shaky hands, he reaches for the the wound as the blades retract into his body and out his back, the man dropping to the floor, his horrified expression still glued to his face. The Predator exits his invisible stage and looks at the being before it, saying in a ghostly voice, "I see you."

**FIGHT!**

The Predator charges the Hidden, catching the invisible man off-guard as he wrapped his arms around the subject's waist, continuing to charge on and barrel through a granite wall, sending them plummeting down to the lower floor. The Hidden quickly springs to his feet and leaps to the ceiling, sticking their and watching his opponent. The Predator gets up and roars up at the Hidden, aiming its plasma caster up at it and firing. The Hidden barely dodges the blast, throwing a grenade down in the process. The Predator shields himself with his arms and is blown back by the explosion, crushing a pillar in the process. He rises again to find the Hidden hopping towards him, jumping nearly 15 feet each time. The Predator reaches to its lower back and produces a circular blade, clicking a button and throwing it at the Hidden. The man leaps out of the way of the blade, the Predator's plasma caster now aiming at it in mid-air. The ball of plasma rockets towards the Hidden, Subject 617 spins his blade around and shoots it at the center of the plasma, sending it back down onto the Predator as he catches his returning smart disc. The Predator has only time to look up as the ball crashes down onto his left shoulder, destroying his plasma caster and severing his arm, making the alien roar in fury as neon green blood flies from the wound and spatters the wall. The Hidden leaps down from the wall, knife before it, and stabs the Predator in the stomach. He retracts his knife from the alien, expecting it to die, but is met with a right hook, nearly shattering his jaw. The Hidden flops back as the Predator advances, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him off his feet. He stares at the Hidden before throwing him down onto the ground abruptly, the Hidden's spine shattering on impact. The Predator clutches the stump of his arm and leaves the immobile Hidden behind, heading to a bathroom. The Predator shatters the glass of a large mirror and piles it into a sink, pouring a blue liquid over it.

Meanwhile, the Hidden drags itself back up the stairs where it first met the Predator, falling onto the still-intact body of an IRIS soldier before sinking his teeth into his neck.

The Predator's roars echo throughout the halls, the beast rushing out of the bathroom and chasing to where he left the Hidden. The ground where it once lay had gone cold, the Hidden was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, an invisible force sliced against the Predator's back, more neon blood pouring from a new wound as it roared in pain, spinning around to find the Hidden gone. The Hidden struck again, making another slash into the previous one, making an "X" on the Predator's back. The beasts roars shook the building as it produced a metal rod that projected out into a long spear. The Hidden drops behind the Predator silently once again, but the alien spins around and slices into the Hidden's stomach, the invisible force now dripping blood onto the floor. It leaped away and drew another grenade as the Predator flung its spear ahead. The spear found true, going through the grenade and the Hidden's hand, sending it flying back and into a wall, sticking it there. The Hidden tried to tear itself free, blood flowing in buckets onto the floor as the Predator started up its smart disc again, throwing it at its helpless opponent. The disc rocketed through the air, skewering the Hidden's stomach and cutting it in half, its lower half now visible. The Predator approached the limp upper half and lifted the Hidden up by its head and slit its throat with the other hand's wrist blade, ripping up and separating the skull from the body.

**K.O.!**

"Holy shit, that was brutal!"

"While the Hidden has similar powers of invisibility and keeping tabs on enemies, the Predator is unlike anything the Hidden has face. The Predator can see the Hidden, ruining its greatest weapons of stealth and surprise. Plus, the Predator does not toy with its prey, it goes for the kill as quickly as possible, where the Hidden likes to mess around first. Another factor is the Predator hunts many of the most dangerous beings in the galaxy, with some having abilities akin to that of the Hidden. Lastly, the Predator has a much larger, more sophisticated arsenal than the Hidden and every one of them is designed to kill, where only the pig stick is instantly lethal."

"In the end, Subject 617 couldn't hide from the Predator."

"The winner is the Predator."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A naked man, or large hairless dog, with grotesquely long nails scuttles across the ground of a dark alleyway. It approaches the sound of a crying woman, opening a door to find to find two shining red eyes glaring at it. The pale woman lets out a shriek of anger as she rose, her fingers radiating down into long, bloody claws.


	3. The Witch vs The Rake

"Long-nailed opponents, often times the most terrifying foes of all."

"Like the Rake, the horror that slips into your room, and the Witch, the crying zombie."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to the look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"The Rake is described as a naked man or a large, hairless dog that sneaks into people's homes..."

"What, he's nudist who gets in your bed? Someone call Antoine Dodson, STAT!"

"He has large, white eyes and attacks his victims with large, rake-like claws that give him his name."

"Even with these huge things, he's completely silent, you won't know he's staring at you until you're already dead. But my dog's nails are so much as a centimeter too long and I can't stop hearing him!"

"The Rake is a cunning foe, his stealth makes him undetectable. He is completely mute and doesn't make a sound even when he runs. He is also rumored to be allied with Slenderman, one of the most feared beings in existence."

"His main attack is to just sneak up on you while you sleep and slash you to death, nothing special, really."

"The Rake is persistent, though, having stalked a woman who survived his attacks for a long period before finally killing her too."

"Seriously? This isn't a monster, that's a guy who shotgunned a Viagra smoothy and taped knives to his fingers. Why doesn't anyone shoot him?"

"Well, probably because of how quick and agile he is. Before they could do anything, two parents who were lucky enough to wake up as the Rake sat at their bed could only watch as he darted down the hall and mauled one of their daughters to near death."

"Holy shit, that was brutal! That's like Nightmare on Elm Street meets Michael Jackson after a month in Ethiopia."

"The Rake is a very mysterious creature, very little is known for certain about him. However, we can draw some weaknesses, too. For starters, he only seems to attack people in their sleep, further adding to his stealth. But, since his prey woke up, he targeted more defenseless prey, children."

"Sandusky would be proud."

"Despite the mystery that is the Rake, he is one of the most feared and deadly Creepypasta characters in existence, easily earning him a spot in this fight."

"I knew who he was...he was the Rake." an old woman said to a news camera.

* * *

><p><p>

The Rake:

Height: ?

Weight: ?

Weapons:

Rake-like talons

Feats:

Near-Perfect Stealth

Hard to kill

Fast, Agile

Weaknesses:

Flees when detected

Only attacks the helpless

* * *

><p><p>

"The Witch is one of the most feared zombies in existence..."

"Next to, of course, the tank and that fucking feral-devil zombie from State of Decay, fuck that!"

"She cries exactly like an uninfected human, perhaps luring people to her as a trap to attack them. Once she is sufficiently agitated, shot, or burned, she will attack the one responsible for doing so until she or the person are killed with incredible speed."

"The witch has long, sharp nails on all of her fingers and thumbs, giving her crazy reach and kill ability. Anything within 3-4 feet is dead, which comes in handy since one swing and you're dead instantly."

"The witch has two phases, seated at night, making it hard to bypass her if she's in your way, or walking in the daylight, making her much harder to avoid. Once someone is within the witches aggro-zone, she will slowly grow more agitated until she attacks her harasser. She can, however, be distracted to another person if they light her on fire afterward."

"The witch is really hard to kill, only a point-blank shotgun blast or a chainsaw will kill her instantly, even pipe bombs, propane tanks, grenade launchers, and a well-planned combo of the three do not finish her off immediately."

"But, the witch is not infallible, she has extreme tunnel vision, attacking only one survivor and running off if she kills them or is unable to reach them quickly enough."

"Also, once you familiarize yourself with the witch, it is a lot easier to dodge her, kinda like caller ID when your ex says she's carrying your child."

"What?! How...nevermind. The witch also has one other major flaw, since she locks onto only one survivor, it is easy for comrades to pick her off while she chases someone."

"Still, this is the last chick you'd want to piss off...or get a handjob from."

Zoey creeps towards a crying woman, her light catching her nails as Bill lowers her aim, harshly demanding, "Lights off!"

* * *

><p><p>

The Witch:

Height: Varies

Weight: Varies

Weapons:

Long, hardened nails

Feats:

Can kill a human in one swing

Very fast

Can survive gunfire, melee attacks, headshots, explosions, and being lit on fire

Can break down locked doors with one swing

Can detect you no matter where you are by her

Weaknesses:

Point-black shotgun blasts and chainsaws

Attacks only one enemy

Takes some time to just agitate

* * *

><p><p>

"Alright, these combatants are set."

"Now, it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!"

* * *

><p><p>

A biker runs down an alley, trying desperately to get away from the naked man chasing him. The man hears the familiar crying, a smile on his face as he darts further down and past a seated woman, the woman slowly rising and growling as he sprints further down. She sits back down as the Rake creeps up on her. The witch turns and glares at him as she slowly rises to her feet.

**FIGHT!**

The witch's scream catches the Rake off-balance, rushing at him with arm's outstretched. The Rake turns to flee but the witch slashes his back, leaving four deep cuts, dark crimson blood flowing out of the wounds. The Rake spins around and claws her face, three deep gashes carved into her face. The Witch is unfazed as she swings down onto the Rake again, the creature barely able to dodge the blow as he rakes her stomach. The Witch slices the Rake across the face, his left eye ripped out in the assault and sending the Rake sprinting for cover, the Witch in hot pursuit. The Rake ducks into an open door, hiding amongst the generators as it kicks the door shut behind him. The Witch's screams only grow louder as she shatters the door into pieces, the Rake lunging out and swinging at her. The Witch's arm falls to the ground, but she does not acknowledge it as she slashes at the Rake's abdomen, intestines spilling from the slit marks. The Rake falls back, cupping its organs as the Witch stands above him, letting out one more scream as she digs into him, tearing off his arm, jaw, throat, several ribs, a lung, most of his digestive tract, the opposite hand, face, and finally decapitates him from the swinging.

**K.O.!**

"OH SHIT, that was brutal! But way too quick."

"The Rake may be stealthier and able to formulate plans, but the Witch is too unpredictable and impulsive for the Rake to handle. His main weapon, stealth, is taken away since the witch can sense anyone with 10 feet of her. She is also resistant to even the most savage of his attacks, even if the Rake manages to blind her, she still will manage to sense where he is and kill him. Additionally, the Rake is not used to fighting conscious opponents, so he was totally out of his element against the witch. Finally, the Witch is absolutely unrelenting in her assault, constantly moving forward until either she or the Rake were killed, another thing the Rake has never encountered is an opponent totally driven to kill him and doesn't fear him."

"The Witch really clawed out the Rake."

"The winner is the Witch."

Next time on Death Battle:

A figure in a black hood creeps towards the blankets, a shape snuggled beneath them. The figure produces a knife and pulls its hood down, revealing a hideously white face, black, burnt flesh where his eyelids should be and deep cuts carved into his cheeks. The madman rips back the covers raising his knife as he utters, "Go to sle..." before being interrupted by a pale hand shooting upward, a spoon smacking into his head.


	4. Jeff the Killer vs The Ginosaji

"Pale men in hoodies, the stuff of nightmares and vicious killers..."

"Or the exact opposite in Florida, where harmless men in hoodies get shot by dickheads."

"No two hoody-clad warriors are more well-known or feared than Jeff the Killer, the psychopathic teen slasher, or the Ginosaji, the spoon-wielding Japanese demon."

"He Zivon and I'm DAM, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and skills to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"A normal boy from a normal family, Jeff's life changed when he moved to a new town, fighting and wounding a group of bullies, but learned in the process he liked harming people."

"Jeff's battles with the bullies soon grew, eventually escalating to him killing them before he was covered in bleach and lit on fire, permanently scarring his whole body snow white. So, a early-pubescent Joker rip-off, eh?"

"Jeff soon went insane after this, killing his parents and brother after cutting off his eyelids and carving a smile into his face."

"Joker rip-off, like I said."

"Jeff's similarities to any villain end there. Jeff has fought the likes of Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, and Jane the Killer and survived losing a kidney, disembowelment, and being impaled twice in his fight against Slenderman, killing Jane and Jack while wounding the Slenderman."

"Jeff is a very stealthy killer, able to slip into people's homes with no issues. He's also accurate and strong enough to throw his knife with enough force to cut off Slenderman's arm. It's cool, I've seen enough hentai to know how Slendy handles himself."

"Oh my God...Jeff is very durable and stealthy, but his greatest feat is surviving anything thrown at him, able to survive anything that would kill a normal human being. He can appear dead for hours, but spring to life and just wait out while he heals."

"Jeff is a tough bastard, but he ain't invincible. He's completely batshit crazy, so visions of his family and other delusional shit get in the way sometimes, leading to his capture by Jane in the first place."

"Jeff is also very impulsive, rushing and fighting a much more powerful foe in Slenderman and nearly getting himself killed twice."

"He clearly isn't a planner either, rushing headlong into battle may work, but in the case of a walking tentacle rape factory..."

"Enough, Jeff may be insane, but he can definitely hold his own in a fight."

"Why else is he the most popular Creepypasta character ever then?"

Jeff stares at a little boy in his bed, whispering, "Go to sleep."

* * *

><p><p>

Jeff:

Age: 14

Height: 6'

Weight: 125 lbs.

Weapons:

Kitchen Knife

Feats:

Fought the Slenderman to a standstill

Killed Jane and Eyeless Jack

Very durable, near-impossible to kill

Can survive large amounts of blood, organ loss

Weaknesses:

Completely insane

Very impulsive, no planning in attacks

Can get sidetracked or distracted by visions

* * *

><p><p>

"The Ginosaji literally means "silver spoon" in Japanese, which sums up exactly what he does."

"The Ginosaji relentlessly attacks a victim with a spoon and beats them to death over a period of years. Talk about beating a dead horse, he's hitting a fat guy with a spoon! What a dick!"

"The Ginosaji has three attacks, a single, silver spoon, two spoon swings, and a wooden spoon that hurts far worse. He uses any of these to chase his opponent down and beat them to death."

"The Ginosaji is also unrivaled in durability, able to withstand gunfire from pistols to machine guns, being stabbed, hit by a car, and explosions from RPG's and dynamite. He also has a tactical mind, able to find a weakness in your attack and use it against you, like when he hit Jack's saw to slice him open. Holy fuck, this guy's nuts!"

"The Ginosaji is unmatched in tenacity, following his target, Jack, all over the world to five continents by unknown means. Thus, he never grows tired, never sleeps, and never relents his attack, simply chasing his opponent down to hit them with a spoon."

"He's also a very sick bastard, he once continued to hit Jack in the head as he wore a helmet as the those was torturous to Jack, he even put it back on to further his suffering."

"But, despite this, the Ginosaji has many short-comings. For starters, he is incredibly slow at a distance, only running when he is right behind his opponent."

"The guy also is vulnerable to magnets, since his entire chest is full of spoons, it can really slow him down. Plus, the spoon takes ages to kill you!"

"Finally, the Ginosaji appears to have one weakness, when Jack left a temple with a blessed spoon, the Ginosaji stopped his advance. This implies that the Ginosaji can be killed with such a device, but doing so is dangerous as the Ginosaji can easily disarm you."

"So, we've got a fucking demon who hits you with a spoon...yep, nothing bad here."

A series of explosions rock the desert, but the Ginosaji lurches on, a few small flames the only thing blemishing him.

* * *

><p><p>

Ginosaji:

Age: Centuries Old

Height: 5'10"

Weight: 140 lbs.

Weapons:

Silver/Wooden Spoons

Feats:

Indestructible, survived gunfire, stabs, and explosions

Unstoppably Persistent

Never tires

Can find its target anywhere on Earth

Weaknesses:

Incredibly slow

Seems to have a weakness against spoons used against it

Spoon is...extremely inefficient

* * *

><p><p>

"That's it, these two combatants are set."

"Now, it's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p><p>

Jeff slips into the room of a large, bearded man huddled in the corner, bruises covering his face as he sobs. Jack looks at Jeff and smiles, begging him, "Kill me!"

Jeff recoils slightly at this, but smiles and advances, raising his knife and growling, "Go to sl..." before a metal object smacked against his forehead.

Jeff slowly turned to face the force who did this, finding a man staring vindictively at the ceiling, his complexion as pale as Jeff and his eyes as black as his own.

**FIGHT!**

Jeff wastes no time, slamming his knife down into the Ginosaji's chest. He smiles as the Ginosaji raises his spoon, wrapping him over the head several time. Jeff was stupefied, how is this guy alive? Jeff continued to stab the Ginosaji in the chest, yielding only a return smack from the Ginosaji. Frustrated, Jeff shoved the Ginosaji back, angering it as it rose, unzipping its hoody, much to Jack's dismayed shrieks. The Ginosaji produced a second spoon, storming at Jeff and smacking him in the head with both spoons simultaneously. Growing more annoyed with each hit, Jeff slashed at the Ginosaji's throat, spilling blood but not slowing him down for a second. "Give me a fucking break!"

Jeff and the Ginosaji continued to exchange blows until the sun rose the next morning, Jeff's stabs getting slower and more delayed as the Ginosaji relentlessly battered Jeff with two spoons. Growing tired and sore, Jeff took a step back and tackled the Ginosaji to the ground, ripping the spoons from his chest and hands before stabbing him in the chest, face, and throat. Upon seeing the Ginosaji was unmoving, Jeff rose to his feet, only for the Ginosaji's hand to shoot up and grab Jeff's free hand. The Ginosaji quickly produced a wooden spoon from his pocket, smashing it over Jeff's knuckles, making the madman howl as he grabbed his paralyzed fingers. Jeff turned to see the rising Ginosaji, raising his knife and charging the demon, screaming madly. In one quick whip of the wrist, the Ginosaji flung his wooden spoon at Jeff, hitting his wrist and making him fumble his grip on his knife. Jeff swung his hand around around to catch the knife, but accidentally stabbed himself in the eye, the madman screamed as blood sprayed the room. Jeff finally collapsed to the ground, hand still clasped on the handle of his knife as the Ginosaji stood above him, silver spoon in hand. Jeff smiled and let out a weak laugh as the demon began to hit the handle of the knife, then again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again...until the entire blade of the knife was in Jeff's eye socket. The Ginosaji turned to a horrified Jack, his screams growing hysterical as the Ginosaji picked up a worn-down helmet.

**K.O.!**

"Whew, I was afraid that would last forever, that was awesome!"

"Jeff is much quicker and has fought more dangerous foes, but, as far as we know, the Ginosaji is indestructible. Anything Jeff could throw at the Ginosaji with his knife the demon could shrug off and continue fighting. Jeff is also unrelenting in his attack, so he'd wear himself out while the Ginosaji just continued to beat him, making it actually quicker and easier to kill Jeff. Finally, Jeff's attack, as absurd as it may sound, is one-dimensional, he can only slash and stab with his knife, while the Ginosaji can inflict varying degrees of damage with his spoons."

"I guess the Ginosaji scooped Jeff out of the bowl."

"The winner is the Ginosaji."

Next time on Death Battle:

A blonde girl in a school uniform carries a scythe with a zig-zag, black and red pattern on the blade. The blade emits a gigantic, bright light as she slashes at a small woman, missing her but the woman splits in two and disintegrates.

Vs...

A girl with black hair with red streaks, a red cape tied to her black, corset-like dress, aims a massive, mechanical red scythe at a werewolf-like creature, blasting it in half with one shot from the sniper-sythe.


	5. Maka Albarn vs Ruby Rose

"Throughout the anime genre, scythe-wielding heroines are often the most favored protagonists."

"Like Maka Albarn, the Kishin hunter of Soul Eater, and Ruby Rose, the Grimm huntress of RWBY."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and skills to decide who would win a Death Battle."

"Also, to get fanboy rage out of the way, we're stating the rule right away: No non-canon knowledge, no outside assistance, so that means to Team RWBY and no Soul for Maka. 'But DAM, that's not fair!', shut up! This is our show and we'll run it as honestly as possible!"

* * *

><p>"Maka is a member of the prestigious Death Weapons Meister Academy, a school dedicated to training people to kill Kishin, the demons of the Soul Eater universe."<p>

"Seriously? What the fuck is with Japan sending animated kids to either fight monsters or star in porn?!"

"For God's sake!"

***Technical Difficulties: Please Wait***

"I'd like to apologize for the inappropriate comments I've made, it won't happen for at least five minutes."

"Good. Maka is a wielder of the scythe, the most coveted weapon, which her partner, Soul Evans, takes the form of. She strives to become the greatest and most revered rank of all, a Death Scythe, which she earned after claiming 99 evil souls and killing a witch last."

"Maka is incredibly adept in scythe-fighting, able to smash through concrete pillars in single swings. But, the scythe has its own major attacks, three to be exact."

"From standard to OP, we have the Witch, Majin, and Kishin hunter attacks, all able to destroy evil spirits even if they don't directly touch the spirit."

"Maka has proven, even at her young age, to be one of the greatest scythe-wielders in history. She has used her attacks to defeat the likes of powerful witches and Kishin like Medusa and Asuda, wounding and forever sealing the latter."

"Maka is also very quick and doesn't tire easy, able to easily sustain speeds of 25 miles an hour. She also is infected with black blood, which can make her near-invulnerable to slashes, pierces, and crushing attacks. Finally, she has the rare ability of the Grigori soul, which grants her flight."

"But, without Soul's help, the black blood can drive her insane, making her more bloodthirsty and harder to kill. Finally, Maka has among the strongest Soul Perceptions, able to detect any soul, good or bad, anywhere in the area before they are even seen."

"But, like anybody in Death Battle, she has her shortcomings. First, she is incredibly sensitive to criticism of her fighting style, once abandoning Soul because her skills were so harshly scrutinized."

"Maka has also shown to be very lost when a friend goes AWOL or is injured. When Crona abandoned the group, she spent hours going over why he would do this. Or when Soul was injured in their fight with Crona, she was completely helpless nor did she seek to protect herself from near-death."

"Finally, since Soul isn't helping here, Maka can be driven insane by the black blood in her body. Just must be about the time she becomes a woman."

"Goddammit!"

***Technical Difficulties: Please Wait***

"...and fuck you, too, I think this shit's funny, so I'll say if I want you butt fu..."

***Technical Difficulties: Please Wait***

"Fuck it, I'm sorry."

"Let's just get this over with. Finally, Maka does have a temper about her, whether she damaged her relationship with her friends or rushes into battle and nearly gets killed."

"But, make no mistake, Maka is one tough kid. Hell, she defeated the anime equivalent of the Devil!"

"Bring it on! I may be weaker than you, but I'll take whatever you throw at me!"

Maka:

* * *

><p>Age: 13<p>

Height: 5'

Weight: 100 lbs.

Weapons:

Death Scythe

Armor:

Black Blood

Feats:

Cleansed 99 evil souls and a witch to become a Death Scythe hunter

Defeated Medusa and Asura

One of the greatest wielders of one of the greatest weapons

Has mastered all three Hunter slashes

Can sustain running at 25 miles an hour

Weaknesses:

Oversensitive to criticism

Relies heavily on allies and Soul's guidance

Overly-Proud Warrior

Black blood, if unchecked, can drive her insane

* * *

><p>"Ruby Rose is a huntress-in-training at Beacon Academy, one of several academies set up to fight the forces of Grimm, evil creatures ranging from elephants, to giant birds and scorpions, to werewolves and bears."<p>

"Ruby wields the Crescent Rose, a high-caliber sniper-scythe that has two combat forms, the rifle form and the scythe form, which can still shoot. The weapon is very dangerous, only she and her Uncle Qrow can wield it effectively."

"Ruby uses the recoil of her weapon to also boost her speed and make more damaging cuts. The rounds are also approximately .50, able to blast beowolves nearly in half in one shot. A second type of ammo, the clip having a black cross, does greater, explosive damage. Another weird aspect of the weapon is it disintegrates those sliced or shot into rose petals."

"Ruby also has a semblance of speed, making her incredibly fast, and I'm not making a pedophile joke, happy!"

"Since Ruby can move at speeds that pull an entire cafeteria of food and tables in her wake, she must be able to move with the wind speed of an F2 tornado, approximately 150 miles an hour! This can be boosted with the recoil of her scythe."

"Ruby has proven a great fighter, slaughtering an entire pack of dozens of beowolves, decapitating a Nevermore, and saving Vale from a massive Grimm invasion. Yeah, fuck you too, Steve Irwin! She is also one of the youngest huntresses ever accepted to Beacon."

"Among Ruby's other feats is her cooperation with her team, she has made up great battle tactics and formations in the course of one semester, defeating a Paladin robot and assisting her in the defeat of the Nevermore."

"But, Ruby has her shortcomings. For one, the proud mentality Maka had goes double for her."

"That's right, Ruby rushed into battle with a Death Stalker and was nearly killed by it and the Nevermore, had it not been for Weiss' intervention."

"Ruby is also not adept in hand-to-hand combat, punching a White Fang member once to no avail before being knocked down in one punch and out with a stomp."

"Finally, Ruby is very dependent on her scythe, losing it while investigating the hideout of Roman Torchwick left her completely without an attack on only relying on her speed for some sort of defense."

"But, once again, a little girl hunting monsters with a scythe is no biggy in that world, and it shouldn't be if that girl is Ruby Rose."

"Hey!" Ruby calls out to Torchwick, spinning her scythe around before imbedding the blade in the ground.

* * *

><p>Ruby:<p>

Age: 15

Height: 5'2"

Weapons: 105 lbs.

Weapons:

Crescent Rose

Feats:

Slew an entire pack of beowolves single-handedly

Can run at 150 mph

Decapitated a Nevermore

Saved Vale from a Grimm invasion

Took down a near-indestructible Paladin robot

Youngest huntress in Beacon

Weaknesses:

Completely reliant on scythe

Horrible at hand-to-hand combat

Rushes into battle when odds are clearly against her

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set."<p>

"Now, it's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Maka walks through a snow-draped forest, sensing something slowly approach her in the distance. As she reaches the end of the forest and reaches an opening before a cliff, she find a girl in a red hood approaching her, her cape fluttering in the wind. Sensing the opponents sadness, Maka slowly approached the distant figure. She did not get in two steps before Ruby drew her gun, aiming it at Maka.<p>

**FIGHT!**

Ruby fires her rifle at Maka, the blonde girl spinning her scythe around and blocking the round in mid-air. A slight smile cracks Ruby's face, the rifle extending into a giant scythe, as she aims it behind her and fires, propelling herself ahead. She slams her scythe down on Maka, who blocks the thunderous blow with the shaft of her scythe. She shoves Ruby back, going on the offensive with a whirlwind of slashes. Ruby ducks and jukes several of the blows, disappearing from sight in a flurry of rose petals as Maka loads up another swing. She turns to the sound of another shot behind her, turning just as Ruby came crashing feet-first into Maka's chest, knocking her onto her back and skidding several yards. Maka rolled through and rose to her feet, her blade becoming a massive aura of light as she swung at Ruby in the distance. The swing did nothing, Ruby scratched her head in confusion as the bright light got larger. Maka swung it in her direction once again, making Ruby sputter as she lost control of her laughter. Red-faced and fighting tears, Maka charged at the laughing girl, swinging down on her and catching her scythe, hooking it away from her. Stunned, Ruby darted out of the path of another swing, trying to punch Maka in the face in the process. The blow only angers Maka further, Maka shouting, "Maka...Chop!" before producing a book and swinging it down on Ruby's head. Ruby barely rolls out of the swing as Maka chucks the book at her, going wide as she moves in on Ruby again. She catches Ruby off guard, slicing her left shoulder, making the huntress cry out in pain before being kicked back. Pained and bleeding, Ruby dashes at Maka once again, tackling her to the ground. She runs towards the woods and grabs her scythe, turning to find Maka rising to her feet. Smiling, Ruby put the scythe to her back and charged at Maka, spiralling through the air and missing her by a few feet before skidding to a stop near the cliff. The wind current hurls Maka off her feet, taking her over the cliff. She shoots her scythe up, barely catching the edge as she tries to pull herself up. However, Ruby is ready, jumping down with her Crescent Rose ready, firing it in the air and stomping down onto her face. Maka and Ruby plummet down, exchanging slashes, Ruby being knocked back before using her recoil to rocket into Maka again, kicking her back. She turns to the ground and fires several rounds and halting her plummet. Maka sprouts wings and flutters to the ground, but she drops six feet as a shot rips her wings off, rose petals rising into the air. She touches her back and finds blood smearing her fingers, dark blood. Maka's face takes a more sadistic look as she approaches Ruby on wobbly feet, a manic smile on her face. Ruby fires a shot at Maka, the round hitting her knee but stopping halfway in. Her smile persists as she walks on, her leg slowly decaying into rose petals until it severs itself. She drops to her stump, black blood dropping onto the earth as another shot rings out, striking her other knee and slowly breaking it off. Maka's smile and advance do not cease, the Meister now walking on her stumps. Ruby lets out two more shots, both hitting Maka in the shoulder and taking her arms off, not slowing her down a bit. Fed up, Ruby changed the clip in her gun, a black cross on it, and fired at Maka again, hitting her in the stomach but only blows off everything from the waist down. Maka's manic smile persisted as black blood dripped from her mouth, laughing hysterically. Disgusted, Ruby aims her scythe behind her and rockets ahead. She spirals through the air, spinning over Maka before sliding to a stop. Slowly, a smile still on her face, Maka split in half down the middle, the two halves falling apart and slowly becoming rose petals.

**K.O.!**

"HOLY SHIT! Goddamn, that was brutal! Now, we wait for Soul Eater rage..."

"Maka may have greater combat experience and fought more powerful foes, but Ruby's scythe serves more purposes at a distance and up-close, outmatching Maka in the weapons category as her Hunter slashes only affects evil. Plus, Ruby is 6 times faster than Maka, easily able to outpace her and control the tempo of the battle. Maka is also susceptible to the decay effect Ruby has with her Crescent Rose and, when not affected by black blood, Maka can turn to rose petals from just a nick. But, under it, she is much more resistant and able to not decay, but only to an extent and she is mentally incapacitated by it. Finally, Ruby has shown she can fight completely without assistance, where Maka constantly needs Soul's guidance during fights in order to make the next move."

"Ruby really reaped Maka in the end...I said, "reap", don't censor me for that!"

"The winner is Ruby Rose."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A man in a chalkface mask approaches a lake, kitchen knife in hand. He scans the lake as he senses an enemy, finding a hockey-masked man rising at the lake's shore, a massive machete in-hand.

**I can already sense the fanboy rage coming, guys. All I can say is...I did a ton of research on Maka, from what people told me, I thought she'd win. But, after all of the reading I've done, this was the conclusion I came to. That may not help, but just consider that when you send me death threats.**


	6. Michael Myers vs Jason Voorhees

"For decades, masked serial killers have thrilled and terrified audiences and taken the box office by storm."

"With the most notable of them being Michael Myers, the knife-wielding maniac of Haddonfield, and Jason Voorhees, the machete-wielding zombie of Camp Crystal Lake. And, for research purposes, we're using the originals, not those shitty remakes."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons armor and skills to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"Growing up in Haddonfield, Illinois, Michael Myers murdered his sister when he was only six years old with a kitchen knife. Ever since, he has been committed to an insane asylum where his doctor, Samuel Loomis, wants him locked away forever, seeing him as pure evil."<p>

"However, he stole a car and went back to Haddonfield, quickly racking up the body count and hunting down his sister, Laurie, in the process."

"Michael is cursed by The Order of Thorn, an ancient Druid group that curses a child to kill his family and grant him supernatural powers."

"Yeah, because, like Mike Myers, he's a cool guy, but you only want him around once a year."

"Michael's powers from the curse include superhuman strength, incredible stealth, and a brilliant killer. He has switched clothes with people in order to escape and frame his sister for murdering a paramedic..."

"What?! That's bullshit! Why is a paramedic attacking her then?"

"Lazy writing and the need for sequels. Michael's main weapon is a kitchen knife, which he can cleanly skewer someone to a door with or even decapitate. He uses several knives that he can get his hands on, cars, pitchforks, and his own fists are weapons, he's crushed skulls, the strength needed to do so is around 250 pounds of pressure, larynxes, and impale people with shotguns."

"Michael is also one tough bastard. He's survived being shot six times and falling two stories, explosions, electrocution, burning garages, stabs to the eye, neck, and chest, and an entire firing squad. This fucker is near-impossible to kill."

"This is brought on by Michael's curse as it greatly accelerates his healing abilities. However, more severe wounds, like being shot at by the firing squad, has led to him going into comas for long periods of time in order to heal."

"But, Mikey does have his quirks. For starters, his eyes are a weak spot. When he got shot in the eyes by Dr. Loomis in Halloween 2, he was totally defenseless to the explosion, or when he got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher, he was blinded and allowed his target, niece Jamie, to escape. He also got his ass kicked by a shitty rapper who knew kung-fu. "

"It also appears Michael is susceptible to losing limbs or his head, as Laurie chooses this as her method of attack to finish off who she thought was her brother. Finally, Michael can be beaten into unconsciousness, as Samuel Loomis did in Halloween 5 before suffering a stroke."

"But, in order to kill Michael, you have to get close to him, so good luck."

Laurie looks down at the knife in her stomach, breathing intensely before kissing Michael's mask on the lips, uttering, "I'll see you in Hell."

* * *

><p>Michael:<p>

Age: 45 (by time of Halloween: Resurrection)

Height: 6'

Weight: 200 lbs.

Weapons:

Kitchen Knife

Feats:

Incredible stealth

Superhuman strength

Incredibly durable, near-impossible to kill

Regenerative properties

Weaknesses:

Eyes are very vulnerable

Decapitation, severing limbs

Can be knocked out cold

Has been lead to obvious traps

* * *

><p>"Born with several mental, physical, and anatomical abnormalities, Jason was bullied at Camp Crystal Lake where his mother worked as a cook..."<p>

"Holy fuck! That's what he looked like...hmph...I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"He was...oh, Jesus...I'm sorry, I can't...can we take a break to clean this up..."

***Technical Difficulties: Please Wait***

"Jason was chased off a dock by the campers and drowned as a result. His mother went on a rampage and killed many camp counselors, whether they were involved in his death for not watching the campers or not. However, she was decapitated."

"Yeah, he grew up into a big man and took over his mom's business of killing people with his giant machete, able to lop people in half with the fucking thing!"

"But, Jason is also incredibly strong, just one punch can cause decapitation, a force of about 1,000 newtons, crushed skulls in his hand, ripped off people's heads, the force required to do so is 121 pounds of force, and he effortlessly twisted someone's head around with just a simple push."

"He's also incredibly durable, able to survive automatic fire, shotguns, and rifles until he was blown up by a grenade. He's also survived a boat motor to the face, being caught in a gas explosion that leveled a house, axe to the brain, electrocution, hanging, and being bound to the bottom of Crystal Lake itself."

"Jason also gained the ability of teleportation from...no one actually knows, it's just a theory of how he appears anywhere out of nowhere. Plus, Jason is practically indestructible, even after being blown up, his heart compelled a mortician to eat it so he could possess their body, moving from host to host while committing murders along the way."

"That, plus Jason has an accelerated cellular healing process, explaining why he can handle such deadly blows."

"Despite how mighty Jason is, he is not invulnerable. He is still unable to recover from losing limbs and can be killed by decapitation, having a large portion of his head removed, was once killed by a teenage Tommy Jarvis mauling him with his own machete, or being killed by a family member with a sacred knife."

"Also, Jason is fucking slow! Seriously, if people didn't trip like my aunt on the end of a stool with a rope around her neck, they'd live! Another weakness is his home in Crystal Lake, if he's chained to the bottom, he's completely powerless and immobile."

"Finally, Jason has been bested in close-quarters combat. Freddy Kruger dodged many of his brute swings and landed several blows of his own, impaling him with re-rod, cutting off his fingers, impaling his eyes, and cutting him with his own machete."

"But, once again, to kill Jason, ya gotta get close, have fun with that."

Jason stabs down into a man laying in bed repeatedly before reaching down to both ends of the bed and folding it upwards, snapping his back.

* * *

><p>Jason:<p>

Age: 57 (By Freddy vs. Jason)

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 220 lbs.

Weapons:

Machete

Feats:

Can dismember people with his bare hands

Accelerated healing rate, incredibly durable after resurrection

Great stealth

Teleportation?

Mostly indestructible

Weaknesses:

Very slow

Powerless when chained to Crystal Lake

Can be bested by a more agile, smarter foe

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, time to finish this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Michael Myers approaches the sounds of giggling teenagers in a tent, his knife ready at his side. He raises it and tears through the tent in one slash, the couple scrambling to cover themselves and screaming. Michael hosts the man out and stabs him through the chest, killing him instantly before turning to the girl. She screams as he reaches for her, being silenced as a long blade slams into her head, cutting down to the bridge of her nose. The blade slides out the back of her head and Michael finds its owner, a near-bald, hockey-masked Frankenstein.<p>

**FIGHT!**

Jason wastes no time and storms at Michael, swinging his machete down onto him. Michael catches Jason's arm and stabs him in the stomach, spilling first blood. It doesn't affect Jason, the hockey-masked man rips his arm free and swings again, Michael barely able to dodge the swing. Michael backhands his knife across Jason's stomach, slicing him open to another torrent of blood but is throttled by Jason, who hurls him through the air and into a tree, Michael's shoulder dislocating instantly with a distinct pop. Michael attempts to crawl away but is hosted up by Jason's free hand, he flings him further still into the campground. Michael finally rises and approaches Jason, stabbing down on him once again. Jason catches him by the wrist and slashes Michael across the chest, sending the chalkface killer stumbling back and clutching his wound. Jason continues to pursue Michael, who stabs and slashes at Jason to keep him at bay. Jason finally steps in with his blade raised to finish Michael, but Michael reacts first, stabbing Jason in the throat and releasing the knife. Jason, still frozen in place, grasps the knife and attempts to rip it free, but Michael hits him across the face, cracking a large portion of his mask. Michael loads up another punch before Jason frees the knife, hitting him in the stomach and doubling him over. Jason frees the knife as Michael grabs his head in both hands, pressing hard on his temples to crush his skull in. However, Jason shoots his hand into Michael's gut, digging into his intestines with his bare hands. Michael collapses over Jason's shoulder, blood pouring from his wound as Jason rips out a large chunk of his intestines. Michael flops back before weakly standing up again, knife drawn. He holds his massive wound as he attempts to stab Jason again, who catches his arm and forcibly tears in off, further bloodying and weakening Michael. Jason raises his machete once again and lets his swing fly, cleanly decapitating Michael. Jason bends over to pick the blood-soaked head off the ground, carrying it in his free palm back to his cabin.

**K.O.!**

"Holy shit, that got a little spooky!"

"Jason and Michael may seem near-equal in combat experience and skills, but Jason carries it on a few things. First, Jason's machete is three times longer than Michael's knife, and it can create much more devastating cuts and stabs. In addition to damage, Jason put barely any effort into twisting a frat boys head around, while Michael strains to crush one person's skull in. Additionally, Jason is more resilient than Michael, when Freddy Kruger stabbed his eyes, they were almost immediately healed, where two bullets, or a fire extinguisher, and Michael was completely blind, or how Jason took a beating from a boxer for minutes like it was nothing, while Michael was overwhelming beaten by an injured martial artist. Finally, Michael has killed most of his victims through stealth, rarely has he ever beaten someone who actively hunts and hurts him, while Jason has killed people who actively confront him or are completely aware of his presence."

"I guess this Halloween just wasn't Michael's lucky day when Jason came to party."

"The winner is Jason Voorhees."

Next time on Death Battle:

An African-American girl in a hat with a cursive "D" on it aims a Glock at a walker, blowing its head off.

Vs.

A white girl in a red shirt and blue jeans aims a rifle at the head of a charging, grotesque infected, coring the round through its skull.

**Hello, folks, Happy Halloween! Hope you're enjoying this update and the next one for Halloween 3 coming later today. Also, go check out Zivon's Halloween Fright Night, it is well worth the read and hilarious, I was literally crying in a public library on my campus while reading it. Keep up the support guys, and cite your DAM sources!**


	7. Clementine vs Ellie

"In recent memory, young female protagonists that snag the hearts of gamers everywhere are epitomized by these two combatants."

"They are Clementine, the walker-slayer of The Walking Dead, and Ellie, the immune survivor of The Last of Us. Both can make a weapon out of pretty much anything they come across, but we're pitting them against one another with only the weapons they've carried on them the most."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"When the apocalypse first broke out, Clementine was forced to hide in her tree house and guide a man, Lee Everett, through her house and kill her zombified babysitter."<p>

"Haha, that'll teach you to enforce bedtime!"

"Since, Clementine survived with Lee and groups of survivors, until Lee was bitten and she was forced to put him down. Then, for two more years, Clem would survive with various other survivors, killing walkers and people who posed a threat along the way."

"Yes, justified murder, the best kind!"

"Clementine wields the Glock 17, a semi-automatic pistol that fires 17 9 mm bullets. She carries into close quarters an ice pick, after kicking a walker in the knee, to stab skulls and a hatchet to kill more frontal enemies."

"Clementine is an amazing shot, able to kill a walker all over Molly that even Lee couldn't get. I honestly can't think of a joke for that."

"Clementine is also strong for her size, able to pull Lee through a crowd of walkers into a building, though she closed herself in with him when he was about to turn and was nearly killed by a walker until his intervention."

"Clem is also incredibly crafty, able to find a way out of any situation or use anything around her to her advantage, escaping from many hair situations like a cannibal farm, being trapped by a walker in a shed, or a corrupt survivor camp. Finally, Clem is very tough, able to stitch her own wound shut when she was bitten by a dog or survive being shot by a rifle in the shoulder, and smart, able to fix a wind mill and weave through a herd of walkers."

"But, Clementine is still just a human, a young one at that. She is only 11, making her vulnerable and needing the care of a group, she has never spent very long on her own."

"Another setback of her age is her strength, while she was able to pull Lee into a building, which she probably did with the help of a surge of adrenaline, she often gets her hatchet stuck in skulls, more than once almost leading to her demise."

"Finally, Clementine is too brash in some of her decisions, once charging into a house that could have been infested with walkers, or going off with a stranger that got Lee bitten, Kenny separated from the group, and Lee ultimately killed."

"But, this little shit isn't just tough, she's adorable when covered in zombie gore."

"Still...not...bitten."

* * *

><p>Clementine:<p>

Age: 11

Height: 4'8"

Weight: 80 lbs.

Weapons:

Glock 17

Ice Pick

Hatchet

Feats:

Incredibly Accurate

Survived 3 Years of Apocalypse, being shot, and attacked by a dog

Very resourceful

Very smart, able to fix a windmill

Strong enough to pull Lee to safety

Weaknesses:

Never survived more than a few days on her own

Hatchet can get stuck

Dependent on others to make plans happen

Has made several bad decisions

* * *

><p>"After being bitten by an infected with her friend in a mall, Ellie found she was immune to the cordyceps fungus that was taking over the world."<p>

"Soon, Ellie was sought after by the Fireflies, a group angered by the barely functioning government of the world, to make a cure from her brain, which would ultimately kill her."

"Ellie was taken by Joel to find the Fireflies, but along the way they encountered multiple obstacles, cannibals, infected, and the ill intentions of the Fireflies, who Joel killed to save her..."

"Yeah, because one girl who can save the earth as we know is worth saving more than earth itself."

"Ellie wields the Winchester Model 70, a hunting rifle that fires the .30-06, one shot at a time. She also wields a switchblade and a shiv, a jagged piece of metal she can form from any metal object."

"Ellie is a tough kid, able to support Joel, who is near death, in the dead of winter, in the mountains, holy crap! She's also saved herself from a pair of cannibals, numerous infected, and is a damn good shot."

"Finally, Ellie is an outstandingly wise girl for her age, able to formulate plans on her own, part of the reason that she and Joel survived the winter, and is smart enough to make Molotov cocktails and even bombs."

"ISIS could learn a thing or two from her. But, Ellie is just like any combatant, she has limits. For starters, she's very trusting of people, whether it be the cannibals up until they captured her, the Fireflies, and even Joel's lie about their intentions."

"Ellie is also very dependent on Joel, not letting herself leave his side all winter and nearly dying in the process. She's also had to be rescued a fair amount of time."

"Ellie does have on final flaw, she has no problem with killing infected, but killing the cannibals deeply traumatized her, so killing humans may be too much for her."

"But, Ellie is one tough kid, hell, she's smart enough to decide her own sexuality just as she hit puberty."

"Oh, for God's sake!"

"To the edge of the universe and back. Endure and survive."

* * *

><p>Ellie:<p>

Age: 14

Height: 5'2"

Weight: 100 lbs.

Weapons:

Winchester Model 70

Switchblade

Shiv

Feats:

Immune to cordyceps

Good aim, even with a bow

Survived on the winter basically without help

Can make weapons from metal, make bombs

Can formulate a plan every bit as good as Joel can

Saved herself numerous times

Weaknesses:

Dependent on Joel for survival, stability

Too trusting of people

Rifle needs to be reloaded after every shot

Has difficulty killing non-infected humans

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

Ellie scavenges through an abandoned kiosk in a rundown mall, trying to find anything of use. Suddenly, she hears something cock before her and finds a young girl aiming a pistol at her, her face rigid and determined. Ellie raises her hands to show she means no harm, pleading, "Please, I don't mean you any harm, just let me go and you'll never see me again."

"I can't be too sure of that." Clem says, taking closer aim with her gun.

* * *

><p><strong>FIGHT!<strong>

Ellie ducks beneath the counter just as Clementine fires, the round sailing high over her head. She grabs her rifle off the floor and shoots back to her feet, propping the gun on the counter and firing at Clem, who hits the deck and barely dodges the bullet as it flies over her. Ellie curses to herself as she hides once again, placing another round in the gun and looking over the counter once more, but finds Clementine is gone. "Where the fuck..."

A shot rings out once more, Ellie falling back and yelping in surprised pain, grasping her bloody right shoulder as Clementine continues to stare down the barrel of her smoking Glock. Ellie tries to scoot away as Clementine makes her way to the kiosk, aiming her gun at the floor but finding nothing. She is caught off-guard by a charging Ellie, blindsiding her and tackling her to the floor, punching her across the jaw and dazing her. Clementine comes to just as Ellie straddles her and produces a metal object, clicking a button and sending a metal blade spinning out of it. She raises it up high and slams it down with two hands onto Clementine, the young girl barely able to get her hands up and grab Ellie's wrists, the point of the switchblade mere inches from her heart. Ellie grunts and tries to press down with her full might on Clementine, shouting, "Why won't you just fucking die?!"

Clementine sneers at this and shoots her head up, mouth wide-open, and sinks her teeth into the ball of Ellie's hand, the older girl squealing in agony as blood trickled out of Clem's mouth. She drops her knife and pushes down on Clem's head several times with her entangled hands, finally forcing Clem to free Ellie from her jaws. The two scramble to their feet, staring at each other for some time, Ellie with her switchblade in her good hand and Clem with her ice pick. Ellie, growing frustrated with the fight, rushes at Clem, blade raised overhead. Clem dodges the swipe of the knife and kicks Ellie in the back of the knee, sending her crumpling to the ground. She follows it up by attempting to stab her in the back of the skull, Ellie rolling out of the way and backhanding her blade across Clem's hand, slicing down to the bone. Clem shrieks and drops her pick, slowly backing away and holding her bloodied hand as Ellie rises and slowly advances. Ellie drives her blade at Clem once again, but Clem sidesteps it and kicks Ellie in the back of the leg again, sending her to her knee as she scrambles to the floor, grabbing a hatchet from her backpack. Clem rises and finds Ellie throwing her switchblade at her, catching her in the shoulder. Clem attempts to pull it free, doing so and looking up just as Ellie slashes her across the stomach with a jagged piece of metal she grabbed off the floor. Clem drops to her knees, her breath weak, as she holds her bleeding abdomen. Ellie stands above her, the shiv in hand, and says, "You could've been my friend."

Clem smirks, her expression mostly hidden my her hat, and says, "I've had far tougher friends than you, and you know what else?"

"What?"

"They know they should kill someone when they've got them down!"

Clem swings her hatchet at Ellie in a wild haymaker, catching her throat and sending Ellie spinning a 180, dropping to her knees as she clutches her pouring throat. Clementine steps up behind her and says, "Now, I'll make sure you down turn," before slamming her hatchet in the back of her head.

**K.O.!**

* * *

><p>"Oh, boy, that was a damn brutal cat fight!"<p>

"While Ellie is older and has survived on her own for far longer than Clementine, Clem has experience in killing people, especially without any sort of hesitation if they posed an immediate threat, while Ellie struggled to kill two cannibals. This was very close in the weapons, Ellie's switchblade outperformed the ice pick for versatility, but the hatchet overtook the shiv for being a more practical weapon, and the Glock held more rounds. Ellie also could have evened the odds with fighting infected far faster than the walkers Clementine has fought, but Ellie has never fought in situations where she's outnumbered hundreds to one, further adding to Clem's combat repertoire and cool in the heat of battle. Finally, Clementine has shown far less dependence on people than Ellie, showing she is more than capable of going off on her own with a baby while Ellie is totally attached and dependent on Joel for many saves and just survival, while Clem has shown she is capable of not only saving herself, but her group."

"I guess Clem...fuck, there's no pun for this...screw it, cut through Ellie's skull with a small axe."

"The winner is Clementine."

Next time on Death Battle:

A green man in tattered purple grabs Loki in his massive hand, repeatedly slamming him into the ground before walking away, muttering, "Puny god..."

Vs.

A man in a luchador mask raises the Dark Knight high above his head, throwing him down onto his knee and shattering his spine.


	8. Bane vs The Hulk

"Large, incredibly strong men have dominated the realms of fictions for decades, but none are more well-known or debated about than these two."

"They are Bane, the man who broke the bat, and the Hulk, a scientist turned giant monster by gamma radiation."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"Bane is of mysterious origins, but he appears to be a Hispanic man with an addiction to a super-steroid, Venom."<p>

"Bane used this to become one of the most powerful and feared super villains in Gotham, quickly taking over the criminal underworld and staging a massive breach at Blackgate. This took Batman months to capture everyone, leaving him totally exhausted and unable to fight back as Bane man-handled him and broke his back."

"Bane is not just incredibly strong, but also very smart and a cunning strategist. He is known for his ability to plan, able to deduce Batman's identity in a year and formulate a plan to fight him at his weakest. Bane also seems to be proficient in martial arts, even while off Venom, he has shown prowess in fighting in his own style, stating it's like time slows down as his own plaything."

"Yep, he traded the needle for the joint, folks. While under Venom, he becomes massive and incredibly strong, as well as having a vastly accelerated healing rate."

"However, Bane is completely addicted to the compound, without it he suffers extreme withdrawal very rapidly, reverting to a state of catatonia until it is readministered."

"That, and Bane has never beaten Batman on his own, only breaking him in the first place by having him worn down for months on end. Plus, Bane becomes very arrogant when on Venom, often becoming so smug he ruins his plans in the process."

"Still, if there was one badass chiropractor you didn't want to short-change, it'd be this guy."

"The bat is broken!"

* * *

><p>Bane:<p>

Age: ?

Height: 6'8"

Weight: 350 lbs.

Weapons:

Venom

Superhuman Strength

Feats:

Broke the Dark Knight physically and mentally

Was the heir to Ra's al Ghul's League of Assassins

Incredible cunning

Master strategist and tactician

Proficient in his own martial art that slows down time

Weaknesses:

Severe withdrawal if Venom is not administered

Powers totally dependent on Venom

Never beaten Batman on his own

* * *

><p>"Doctor Bruce Banner was testing a nuclear weapon when he saved a teenager from the blast, but unfortunately caught a very large dose of gamma radiation, able to turn into the Hulk ever since."<p>

"Whenever Banner gets stressed or angered, he turns into the Hulk despite his attempts to prevent it. I wonder if his girlfriends ever try to take advantage of his massive..."

"Stop!"

"I was gonna say transformation! Jeez, I mean, the guy's gotta be hung like a T-Rex."

"Once he is the Hulk, Banner has only a bit of control over how he acts, and able to retain a few of his memories and speech. But, one thing Hulk is known for is raw strength."

"He is able to lift and destroy tanks with ease, fight the most powerful super beings in history, and leap great distances because of his strength."

"The Hulk also has god-like durability, able to survive in space, solar temperatures, nuclear explosions, and planet-destroying impacts. Even if he is torn apart, he is able to regenerate back to his old self, but large-caliber fire can slow him down."

"But, good luck with that, he only gets stronger and harder to kill with that, the more pissed he gets, the stronger he gets."

"Despite this, the Hulk is not infallible. Many times he has been man-handled, like by Zeus or the Silver Surfer. He was also once knocked out-cold by one punch from Captain America. Plus, he has been restrained by Spider-Man's webs."

"He also can be turned back into Bruce if he is sufficiently calmed down, a major weakness."

"Other than that, nothing can really get him, this guy is a walking tank."

"Hulk..."

The Hulk looks at Captain America, smiling as the Captain says, "...smash."

* * *

><p>Hulk:<p>

Age: 44

Height: 7'

Weight: 1,040 lbs.

Weapons:

Superhuman Strength with no finite end

Feats:

Member of The Avengers

Incredibly durable

Can lift virtually anything if angry enough

Gets stronger, heals faster the angrier he gets

Weaknesses:

Calming him down turns him human

Has been bested in strength

Large-caliber fire slows him down

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Bruce Banner types fervently on a computer in a white room, analyzing a new compound before him. A few weeks ago, a crate of what was labeled "Venom" was found in an alley, and it was his job to figure out what it is and what it was made of. His work is soon interrupted by the door to his lab flying off the hinges and sailing at him, the scientist barely able to avoid the projectile as it slams into the opposite wall, imbedding itself. Bruce looks up to see a behemoth of a man slowly making his way into the room, a luchador mask clamped to his face, his muscles bulging and veins pulsing with a bright-green liquid being pumped into his mask via a tube. "What are you doing with my Venom?" the man roars, his accent heavily Latin.<p>

"Sir, you can't be here, leave now!"

"Oh, and you're going to tell me what to do?!" Bane says, throwing the scientist back towards the opening that once was a doorway.

Bane laughs as he reaches for the crate of Venom, but his attempt is stopped by a large green hand grabbing his own, nearly crushing it in its grasp. Bane turns to find its source and is met face-to-face by a grimacing green giant.

**FIGHT!**

Bane quickly retracts his hand as the Hulk smirks at him, the luchador not taking his smile kindly and charges at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tackling him through several walls until they are in the streets. Bane lifts Hulk up and attempts to squeeze the life out of him, locking him in a tightening bear hug. The Hulk begins to grow even larger in Bane's arm, the luchador barely able to keep hold of the wriggling behemoth. Finally, the Hulk breaks free of Bane's grip and grabs him by the straps of his spandex, flinging him through the streets and into another building, driving him clean through a concrete wall. Bane lets out a war cry and charges back out of the dust, locking hands with the Hulk and testing him in strength, the Hulk slowly getting the better of him before Bane kicks him in the jewels, dropping the giant to his knees in pain as Bane lands and uppercut. The Hulk flops back as Bane lands a series of punches to his face, trying to soften the big green man up. Frustrated with his adversary, Bane rolls him to his back, grabs the waistband of his pants and the back of his neck and hoists him overhead, ready to slam him down on his knee as he says, "You are broken!"

Bane suddenly shrieks in agony as he slowly gets smaller, a bright-green liquid pouring out of the tube severed from his mask, the tube clutched tightly in the Hulk's fist. Bane eventually becomes little more than skin and bones, dropping to his hands and knees, whimpering and begging for his venom as the Hulk wraps his hands around Bane's neck and waist. Bane is raised over the Hulk's head, facing the sky as the giant says, "No, you broken!"

The Hulk throws Bane down onto his knee back-first, his back cracking and snapping like a stick as the Hulk continues to press down, splitting the luchador in half, blood and gore flying about and covering the Hulk.

**K.O.!**

"Damn, the Hulk don't fuck around."

"While Bane has more intelligence and control in a fight, the Hulk is completely unpredictable. He gets bigger and stronger as the fight progresses, and it is near impossible to sufficiently wound, let alone kill, him. Bane's main weakness is his dependence on Venom, if his tube is severed, he is totally helpless to the Hulk and, considering the Hulk's non-stop style of fighting, it is almost impossible for Bane to engage the Hulk and not have it broken. And, while Bane deduced the identity of Batman and formulated a plan to defeat him, Bane needs time and planning to figure out how to defeat his enemies, going on Venom quickly makes him impulsive and less controlling of his actions. Even if Bane is somehow able to figure out any weaknesses the Hulk has, Bruce Banner is equally as smart, if not more so than, as Bane and can easily find ways to not only keep himself in the fight, but also exploit Bane's main weakness more quickly. Finally, in The Avengers, it appears Banner does have some control of turning from Hulk to Banner and vice versa, so his control of transformation and emotions also gave Bane even less chance of turning the Hulk human."

"In the end, the Hulk just strong-armed Bane out of the fight."

"The winner is The Hulk."

Next time on Death Battle:

A man in a black suit floats through the city with the assistance of a massive red cape, landing in an alley, ensnaring a large man with it and dragging him closer, raising him by his neck as the Hellspawn interrogates him...

Vs...

A man in a wide-brimmed red hat with a same color of dress smiles a sharp-toothed grin at a group of Brazilian police, tearing them to pieces through biting, beating them with his bare hands, shooting them with his 13 mm Jackal and .454 Casull, and watching as one fearfully shoots himself.


	9. Spawn vs Alucard

"Dark shadows with god-like powers are two of the many things that are the archetypes for an antihero."

"No antiheroes are more well-known or followed than Spawn, the mercenary-turned-Hellspawn, and Alucard, the warlord who became a Protestant vampire hunter."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to test their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"Spawn was once a mercenary who killed for the government even though he questioned the morality of it. His friend then killed him in an inferno and he was sent to Hell as a result."<p>

"But, Spawn's story had just begun, he struck a deal with one of the demon lords of Hell, Malebolgia, where he could return to his life on earth if he commanded Hell's army in return. However, Spawn was sent to earth five years after his death, finding his wife remarried to his best friend and with a child. Furious, Spawn swore revenge."

"Spawn's most powerful weapon is a symbiotic suit he wears called Leetha of the 7th House of K. Leetha is a living entity like Spawn and can create anything he wants, capes, spikes, axes, and chains capable of sawing through bone and smashing through brick."

"Leetha also has a mind of her own, able to focus on what she pleases as Spawn focuses on whatever he wants. She can even protect Spawn when he is knocked unconscious. Kinda like Zivon was supposed to do at that one bar fight, but he ran, and...I got my ass beat."

"Spawn's abilities from his suit also grant him flight, teleportation, shape shifting, talking to animals, and controlling elements such as fire or water. Despite all of these abilities, due to his extensive training in special forces, Spawn often reverts to using guns. Any gun you can think of, he's most likely a proficient expert with it."

"Finally, Spawn is a near-invulnerable guy, able to survive gunfire, impalement, and any other sort of wound thanks to being composed of necroplasm. This can also be achieved when he's around someone who is evil and full of sin. Imagine if he fought the Kardashians..."

"He'd probably have too much sin too feed on and explode. In reality though, Spawn does have weaknesses. The major one is his suit feeds on necroplasm and, if it uses too much, Spawn can die and be sent back to Hell. However, like Spawn, Leetha can feed off the sin and evil of others."

"Spawn also have a weakness towards weapons forged in Heaven, acting like poison to his indestructible body and cancel his ability to heal from it immediately. Seriously, this whole episode could just mock the Kardashians, I've got like nine off of that."

"But killing Spawn is not just limited to angels, decapitation is one definite way of killing him."

"But, after considering the guy is incredibly fast, strong, and durable, and he's taken over Satan and God, he should be a match for anybody."

A wall explodes, revealing Spawn through the smoke as he utters, "Knock, knock."

* * *

><p>Spawn:<p>

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 450 lbs.

Weapons:

Leetha of the 7th House of K and whatever she creates

Guns

Feats:

Defeated God and Satan

Near-invulnerable

Proficient in use of any conceivable firearm

Control over elements

Can shapeshift, fly, feed off of sin and evil, and heal instantly

Superhuman strength, speed, and endurance

Weaknesses:

Weapons of Heaven

Leetha can use too much necroplasm and kill him

Decapitation

* * *

><p>"Once the infamous Prince Vlad Dracula III, Alucard drank blood from a battlefield and was forever cursed to be one of, if not the, first vampires ever."<p>

"He would soon go on to be the helper of the Church of England, the Queen, and the Hellsings, now helping them fight more powerful, dangerous foes...Nazi vampires! Suck it, COD!"

"Alucard wields two pistols, a .454 Casull, a round more powerful than a .50 AE or Magnum .357, and a 13 mm Jackal, a gun that weighs 35 pounds and has a round so powerful it yields explosive results, which Alucard uses to duel humans with regenerative powers like Alexander Anderson."

"Alucard is also a walking ass-kicker, he can dismember people with his bare hands, or teeth. DAMN, let's see Tyson top that!"

"Alucard also has many abilities to meld with his weapons, the most notable is unlocking his own personal dams on his full power, Level Zero. However, he can't reach this form without Integra breaking the seal for him. So, the highest he can go on his own is Level 1, where is much stronger, control shadows, and turn into a shadow dog called Baskerville that is capable of killing regenerators like Luke Valentine."

"Alucard has shit ton of abilities, mind control, wall-crawling, instant healing, invulnerability, intangibility, marksman even when he isn't looking, superhuman strength, speed, and endurance, immunity to sunlight, and can read minds by sucking your blood. I wonder if that's how Kim Kardashian reads minds, but instead she sucks di..."

"Alucard is a menacing foe in battle, able to survive decapitation, being shot to the point of dismemberment, and any form of injury or dismemberment near-instantly. However, he may take this for granted."

"On major problem with Al is he often allows himself to get beaten pretty badly before he starts fighting back, such as the case in his fight with Luke Valentine or Rip van Winkle."

"Are you serious...that's her name...I can't breath, I'm dying!"

"Alucard also detests the life of a vampire and considers them lower than humans, often seaking to find the right person to kill him..."

"Damn, that's dark, are you sure he isn't more suited for Twilight?"

"Finally, if Alucard can find this person, then he can allow himself to be killed."

"Still, this guy is as awesome as a vampire could be, suck it Ebony!"

"What happened to the last one?" Integra asked.

The man looks at the ferociously grinning Alucard before putting his pistol to his head and pulling the trigger, Alucard crying over the phone, "Pussed out like a bitch!"

* * *

><p>Alucard:<p>

Height: 7'2"

Weight: 185 lbs.

Weapons:

.454 Casull

13 mm Jackal

Level 1 Powers

His teeth and bare hands

Feats:

One of the first vampires

Defeated an entire vampire Nazi army

His Jackal can kill or prevent regenerators from healing

Immune to sunlight, can fly, climb walls and faze through them, and shapeshift

Expert marksman

Closest thing to an immortality, can heal from any form of wound

Weaknesses:

Allows himself to be battered in the beginning of a fight

Nihilistic of his own life

Can let himself die

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Spawn watches over the city from a gargoyle high up a skyscraper, his cape massive and flowing in the wind like a crimson cloud. He could sense the sin in the air, the city was never short of it, but he could sense it was stronger than usual. Something was up. And it was. His suspicions were confirmed when a man screamed and the wall of an apartment exploded outwards, a pair of men flying through the hole, one of them appearing to have tackled him through the brick. Spawn only watched as they both hit the ground with a splat, the one one bottom having his body ruptured on impact, the one on top in a blood-red suit rising, unaffected. "The hell?" Spawn thought aloud as he disappeared in a flash of green.<p>

Spawn appeared before the man, his sudden appearance not even phasing the man, the blood spattered about the ground seeming to be absorbed through the man's feet. "What the hell are you?" Spawn said.

"I could ask you the same." the mystery man said, a toothy grin spreading across his face.

"Ah, a vampire, by the looks of it you just killed one of your own, dipshit."

"Excuse me, but I'm a fuck-mothering vampire, I've killed a lot of people to earn this title and demand to be treated as such."

"As you wish, asshole, what are you doing here?"

"Well, your job, and apparently a shitty one at that."

Spawn paused for a few moments before saying, "I'm gonna put your head on my fucking mantle."

**FIGHT!**

Spawn wastes no time and shoots a chain out at Alucard, impaling his chest and drawing a pained gasp from the vampire. "Is that all it took to kill you, you Ozzy Osbourne-looking motherfucker?"

"You wish." Alucard responded, whipping out his Casull.

He fired it in an instant, hitting Spawn dead center in the forehead. The Hellspawn went sprawling back, a neon green hole in his skull as the chain retracted back to its deceased owner. "Wow, this was a lot of fun." Alucard said, turning away before hearing something.

He turned to the sound of a rising Spawn, the hole in his skull sealing itself shut. "Ah, a regenerator, this should be fun." Alucard said, a toothy grin showing once more.

Spawn struck first, shooting a chain out at Alucard once more, but the vampire was quicker, snatching the chain. Alucard yanked the chain and sent Spawn flying at him, punching him right in the center of the face, flopping Spawn onto the back of his head from the impact. He raised a foot up and attempted to stomp down on the Hellspawn, but a giant spike radiated from his chest the moment before impact, skewering Alucard's foot. The vampire went hopping back on one foot, hooting and hollering in pain as he clutched his bloodied foot. Spawn shot another chain out at Alucard's leg, ripping him off his feet as another chain grabbed Alucard's other foot before two others grabbed his arms. The chains rose Alucard off the ground, the vampire grunting as the chains began to tighten, Spawn staring on angrily. Soon, the vampire let out a shriek before his hips were separated from his abdomen, then torn in half at the crotch, and his left arm, neck, head, and most of the torso stuck together. The chains held the limp corpse for a moment before dropping the four pieces to the earth, a gory mess. Spawn turned away and prepared to float back to his perch, another boring night in the city, before he hear the sounds of something like splitting flesh behind him. He turned to see a black shadow forming behind him, clawed hands becoming gloves and the long black haired man appearing again before him, uttering, "You done goofed."

"What? I ripped you apart, how'd you do that!?"

"Fuck you, that's how."

Before Spawn could demand any more, Alucard swung out a massive pistol, firing it at Spawn in rapid, machine-gun-like succession. The chains under Spawn's control spun before him madly, blocking each bullet in a magnificent, spark filled display. One flew past Spawn's head, hitting a building and tearing a hole through it with explosive force. "How the hell did a pistol do that?!" Spawn said aloud, looking to the site as his chains continued to block on.

Suddenly, a round got past his chain and struck him in the chest, blowing a massive hole in him about a foot in diameter. Spawn wobbled backwards, holding his hands over the hole as it slowly shut itself again. "The fuck are you?! You aren't supposed to heal from that." Alucard hissed.

"Out of you realm." Spawn replied, producing a a shotgun out of nowhere.

The Hellspawn fired the gun at the vampire, riddling his chest with holes as Spawn pressed closer, firing again and again until he was point-blank at the vampire's head, putting the barrel to his head and pulling the trigger. Alucard's head exploded on impact, the top half of his skull gone in a gory display. The corpse threw itself backwards, landing with a sickening splat, its mouth hung grotesquely agape. Spawn was still unsure if his opponent was dead, still aiming the gun at his head once more, ready if he managed to heel himself once more. After several seconds, it appeared he wasn't coming back. Spawn packed his shotgun away and turned away once more, his exit being stopped by a firm hand grabbing his shoulder and another bursting through his chest. He looked behind him, rather annoyed his opponent wouldn't relent, and found a large shadow hovering above the, eyeballs covering it, and that Alucard was now in a black straight jacket. The vampire hissed in his ear, "What was all that shit you talked about being out of my realm?"

Alucard through his opponent to the ground, Spawn instantly turning around and rising to his feet, Alucard continuing, "Come one, show me what you've got! Hit me, fight me, give me a hug me!"

Spawn shot another chain out at Alucard, the vampire instantly turning into a showy, asymmetric pair of dogs, barking and snarling as they floated through the chains and at Spawn. The Hellspawn's eyes radiated his shock as the demonic being inhaled him down to his waist, chewing and gnawing on him before gulping the rest of him down. Alucard soon reformed from his beast form, looking at the bit of necroplasm on the ground before muttering, "You tell me I'm shit, well, now you're just dog shit."

Suddenly, a deep rumble came from Alucard's stomach, the vampire grabbing his stomach and muttering, "Oh, that guy sits in the stomach like a Mexican."

A fist burst through Alucard's stomach, the vampire dropping to his knees and screaming in pain as a bloody fist burst through his throat. Alucard could only gag on the arm and blood in his throat as a series of chains broke through his body, wrapping around him from neck to toe and spinning around madly, leaving nothing but his head in tact. Spawn emerges from his cocoon of chains and picks up the head, stairing it in the eye and saying, "Come back from this," before punting it down an alley and into a trash can.

"Three pointer." a voice calls from inside.

"Give me a fucking break!"

Before Spawn can react, Alucard is already in front of him, chopping into his side with the bottom of his hand in a horizontal swoop, cutting Spawn in half. Spawn tries to teleport away, but Alucard is on him as soon as he reappears, grabbing him and saying, "You cheeky dick waffle, were you trying to get away?"

"Fuck you."

The vampire sinks his teeth into Spawn's neck, sucking out most of his necroplasm before saying, "The fuck is this? The fuck is that? The fuck are those?"

"Heh, tripping on my necroplasm, vampire?"

"Hellspawn, eh, let me finish this!"

Alucard ripped upwards and separated Spawn's head from his shoulders. Spawn's head falls to the ground the halves of his head and body slowly disintegrating. Spawn utters, "I'll see you in Hell, vampire," before completely disappearing.

"Eat me, don't forget to write! Oh, I better tweet about this!"

* * *

><p>Sir Integra looks over her twitter, clicking on a notification and sighing upon reading, <em>It's Hellspawn. #calledit #bitcheslovecannons #fuckmotheringvampire.<em>_  
><em>

**K.O.!**

"Goddamn, that was awesome! Show more replays!"

"While Spawn's suit is able to do anything he or it wants, Alucard is unbelievably fast. He can move much faster than the human eye can perceive, so he is easily able to move faster than Leetha can protect Spawn. But, Spawn could heal much quicker from his wounds and not run out of necroplasm as Alucard breaks more seals, letting out more of his evil for Spawn to feed on, plus the Jackal only stops regenerators from healing, who are scientifically altered to do so, where Spawn can do so supernaturally. Spawn also gained many edges in the beginning of the fight, landing more key blows that could have killed any other person, but not Alucard. Since neither of them have knowledge of how to kill the other, it comes to one key factor, it is much easier to kill Spawn than Alucard. Since this fight could last for days, Alucard would eventually find, towards the end of the fight, that decapitation can kill Spawn. The only way Alucard could die is if he allowed Spawn to kill him, but Alucard reserves that right strictly for a worthy human. Though Spawn could take Alucard out of the fight for a while, Alucard could heal from any wound, even if he is nothing more than a puddle of blood or wiped from existence, he can still manage to come back. Alucard can also figure out how to kill Spawn by biting and ingesting some of his necroplasm, since he can read minds this way. Finally, while Spawn has an infinitely larger arsenal of weapons, Alucard is strong enough to split people in half with his bare hands and teeth, plus his pistol are strong enough to dismember bodies, especially in the case of the Jackal, so Alucard can definitely slow down and hinder Spawn, even in a fist fight, and set him up for the finish."

"Alucard really put Spawn through Hell."

"The winner is Alucard."

Next time on Death Battle:

Two masters of the the their environments, slaying ghoulish creatures and taming the inhospitable lands along the way:

A man in a blue shirt and pants picks away at a block of diamonds, turning and shooting an arrow into the eye of hissing green beast...

Vs...

A man in a white and blue suit shoots a hose into a dragon, pumping on it until the creature's stomach explodes outward.

**Hello folks, DAM here once again on another birthday of mine! So grateful I can still do this, you guys are awesome. Keep the ideas coming, there's a ton I'm going to use and you will get full credit at the beginning of the chapter. You may also have noticed the fight was a lot longer, thank YoungSamurai18 for that, he pointed out how short they were and I went to work on that, thanks man. If I've offended anyone with my Kardashian jokes, I'd like to apologize for you not being smart enough for being above liking those ignorant, soulless fucks. Plus, I'm a little more than angry that Kim's photoshopped ass gets more attention than a man singing to his dying infant son after his wife died in labor. So, we're going to right a wrong folks. Zivon and I searched and we found a website for donating to this guy, just Google Ashley Picco Memorial Fund and it should be on YouCaring. Let's put some of my faith back in humanity with this, I'm going to donate $50 to this cause if someone on this site matches it, and Zivon will too, every bit helps. Keep up the support guys, and cite your DAM sources!**


	10. Steve vs Dig Dug

"Rulers of the underground in video games, burrowing into the depths and fighting various evil monsters."

"The two most famous are Steve, the slayer and settler of Minecraft, and Taizo Hori, aka Dig Dug."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to test their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"An adventurous man, Steve can spawn into any world and quickly go to work making homes and forging equipment in a days span. He's slain the Ender Dragon, Wither, and settled some of the most inhospitable lands."<p>

"He can survive any climate; fair, snowy, the End, the Nether, or desert, you name it and he's just fine, except underwater or in lava."

"Steve is a driven man, any goal he sets his sight on, he goes for it. He is also a very quick man, able to chip through stone, coal, iron, and even diamond with his trusty pickaxes, though he needs specific ones for specific jobs. He uses axes, hoes, shovels, and swords made of wood, stone, gold, iron, and diamond to decimate the land and opponents."

"He's also got a few special weapons, like dynamite, bows and arrows, and a fishing rod that can pull opponents in. He also wears armor he can make of leather, iron, gold, and diamond, fuck you, Kay Jewelers, the diamonds are the second hardest thing on this guy!"

"He carries a wide variety of useful items, like buckets of water and lava to slow or hurt enemies, spider webs to halt them, and vast scores of other things. He also utilizes potions that can be thrown or drank to poison enemies, heal himself, boost speed, or injure his enemies instantly. He can also enchant his armor and weapons to last longer or cause more damage."

"Steve can tame horses and pigs to ride, though he has no control over pigs unless he has a carrot. He's also incredibly friggin' strong, tell them, Zivon."

"Using the heaviest thing in the game in real life, a block of gold, weighs 21 tons. Steve can carry 64 blocks of gold in each of his 32 slots in his inventory. This means, without his armor factored in, he can carry up to 43,008 tons of materials, that's about as much as 6 Eiffel towers!"

"But, for some reason, he takes forever to punch through stone or obsidian, which, in real life, is more fragile than my relationships."

"Steve's punches are not that strong, but, apparently, neither is his armor. An arrowhead, a zombie, or even a spider can puncture it and cause him harm."

"He's also prone to fucking himself over, falling into pits of lava while digging, or sheer heights, or getting ambushed by a damn member of Creeper Qaeda when I'm trying to get fucking diamonds, you whore!"

"The integrity of his weapons is a final weakness. Steve's weapons, whether made of wood or diamond, will eventually break, albeit at faster or slower rates depending on the materials in them."

"But, this son of a bitch knows how to fuck the Earth like he cut a hole in her and stuck his dick in it. He's alright in my book, and up there with BP."

Steve swings an iron sword repeatedly at a cornered skeleton, the undead monster rattling until it falls over.

* * *

><p>Steve:<p>

Game: Minecraft

Weapons:

Swords

Axes

Hoes

Shovels

Pickaxes

Bows and Arrows

Dynamite

Fishing Rods

Armor:

Gold, Iron, Chainmail, Diamond, and Leather Helmets, Chestplates, Pants, and Boots

Abilities:

Killed the Ender Dragon and Wither

Ridiculously Strong

Able to survive arrows, explosions, and bites of all kind

Very smart, can build a house and experienced in magic

Resilient, can survive anywhere

Weaknesses:

Isn't as strong in punching attacks

Any armor of his can be punctured

Somewhat gullible or inattentive

Weapons break down over time

* * *

><p>"Named Taizo Hori, Dig Dug is a very cunning man in battle, thanks to his trusty jackhammer and main weapon."<p>

"He uses the pump, a weapon that has a harpoon that can shoot out 15 feet to impale enemies and kill them by inflating them with air! Seriously, nearly effective as killing you on the inside as Taco Bell. This also stuns his opponent and, two or three pumps later, their belly explodes!"

"His jackhammer also gives him unrestricted access of the underground, able walk through the dirt like it's not even there, not to mention sink an entire island. He even appears to have some form of adhesive technology that allows him to climb up sheer walls, most likely in his suit boots."

"This guy is one tough hombre, too, he's killed intangible dragons, snakes, and...tomatoes with eyes...the fuck? But, he's slaughtered all of them, and even giant variants, holy fuck, that's badass!"

"But, Dig Dug has a few weaknesses. For starters, his digging can get him crushed by rocks and the hose can only impale and kill one at a time, which takes time."

"Not to mention, a tomato touching him kills him, seriously? He better be deathly allergic!"

"Dig Dug also is very simple in his plan of attack, which can be outmaneuvered by a smarter foe. Finally, Dig Dug may have questionable mental health as he traverses dangerous lands of lethal creatures using little more than a bike pump with a spear on the end."

"Well, maybe that's because whenever he takes a step, it sounds like this! But, make no mistake, Dig Dug knows what to do with the body."

Dig Dug shoots his pump into a dragon, pumping it once...twice...three times, its gut exploding like a balloon.

* * *

><p>Taizo Hori:<p>

Game: Dig Dug

Weapons:

Pump

Jackhammer

Rocks he can dislodge

Feats:

Has killed dragons, tomatoes, snakes, and giant varieties of the previous creatures

Can move through underground with ease

May also have night vision as lack of light doesn't affect him

Can destroy islands with his jackhammer

Weaknesses:

Can be killed by a tomato...

Questionable mental health

Attack is very one-dimensional

Attack takes a few pumps to kill

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Dig Dug burrows from the underground with the help of his jackhammer, casually walking along the top ground until a nay gets his attention, a man in blue armor on a horse looks at him, drawing his glimmering bow.<p>

**FIGHT!**

Steve wastes no time and fires an arrow at the man in a white suit, who digs under the earth and disappears as the arrow hits, creating a small fire. Steve cautiously approaches the hole before another appears before his horse, a harpoon shooting up and impaling its neck. After a few pumps, the horse's head explodes, forcing Steve to go on foot. He enters the hole and immediately falls several feet, hitting the ground and letting out an, "Oh," in pain.

He puts down a torch and sees another long path has been dug by his opponent, going down the long path and laying down a torch every so often to light his path. Finally he comes up on the blue man, standing the darkness, facing him. Steve pulls out a sword just as Taizo shoots a harpoon at him. Steve jumps back, barely able to get out of reach of the harpoon. Taizo buries down further once more, Steve above the hole and blocking it with dynamite. He lights it on fire and the block falls down the hole, exploding several seconds later. Steve cautiously digs down with the help of a pickaxe, reaching the blast zone before him and finds nothing in the darkness. With no remnants of his enemy left Steve begins to tunnel his way back up, but hears a familiar sound, the sound of his enemy walking. He turns to find Taizo charging him, the man in blue barely able to pull out a glass jar and throw it at his charging, white enemy, instantly harming him and sending the man running back. Sensing victory, Steve draws his regular bow and arrow and shoots once more, hitting the digger in the back of the leg, sending him sprawling as Steve approaches the battered man. Dig Dug attempts to burrow further down, but Steve hooks him with his rod and pulls him up in one mighty heave, sending Taizo into the air and crashing onto his back. Steve draws his sword and readies to finish the fight, raising it high above head. He readies to swing it down, but Taizo reacts first, shooting his pump into the armored man's gut. Steve freezes in place and is unable to react as Taizo pumps the pump once...twice...three times before Steve armor and stomach rupture outwards, his corpse disappearing instantly as it leaves behind scores of miniature goods.

**K.O.!**

"Oh, man, here comes the squeaker, I mean, Minecraft fan boy rage."

"While Steve is much more cunning and diverse in his attacks, Dig Dug is unmatched in his control of terrain. In the time it takes Steve to break through a few stone blocks, even with a diamond pickaxe, Dig Dug is already gone and in complete control of how to surprise and attack Steve. If Steve does go down one of Dig Dug's holes, it easily could be deep enough to kill him. Plus, Steve can't see in the dark, while Dig Dug appears he can. Additionally, there is no way to really dodge the pump other than stay out of its range, which Steve could do with his bow or potions, but neither can kill an enemy in one shot or even over time as poison does wear off, and Dig Dug can easily dodge these in the other three directions he can dig in. Finally, Steve's diverse arsenal can't kill instantly, other than the dynamite block, everything else takes several successive hits to kill something, meaning he'd have to get close to Dig Dug in order to kill him and get in range of his pump."

"Looks like Taizo Hori dug Steve's grave for him."

"The winner is Dig Dug."

Next time on Death Battle:

A man with bright red hair and a black karate uniform floats at M. Bison, the screen going dark as a series of successive strikes lighting up the screen...

Vs...

A man in a fanged helmet sends Raiden flipping through the air, conjuring a massive maul before slamming it on the god's head, obliterating his skull in a gory spectacle.

Would you like to have your Death Battle uploaded for our gory entertainment? Submit them in the reviews and, if I like them enough, I'll not only type it, but give you credit in the opening!


	11. Akuma vs Shao Kahn

"Overpowered antagonists, the things of every gamers angriest nightmares, or the bane of DAM's controllers and TV screens."

"Yeah, and no two ass kickers are more powerful than Akuma, the raging demon of Street Fighter, and Shao Kahn, the conqueror of Mortal Kombat."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and skills to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"Akuma, the master of the fist, is easily one of the most powerful characters in the Street Fighter series."

"Like a typical redneck, he hates sleeves and formal education..."

"No, Akuma is a daunting foe in combat, always on the offensive and attacking, never resting until he is the victor."

"He's a master of an unnamed martial art that emphasizes his use of evil and strong attacks, kinda like George Bush but with less fighting and more being a lying asshole."

"He has a few standout attacks, his striking attacks are the Dragon Fist uppercut, multi-strike Hurricane Kick, and the Demon Flip, which he essentially flips through the air and kicks his opponents legs from beneath them."

"Really? That gets a badass name? Why not call a Richard Simmons girly slap the 'Death Punch'?"

"His more powerful attacks are the Gou Hadoken, a blast of energy that Akuma has complete control of and can charge up into the Shinku variant, which is essentially just larger and more damaging"

"He also uses a punch that no one can fucking pronounce, hitting the ground and causing purple beams to blow his opponent into the air. He once used this to punch an island to pieces, holy shit!"

"His most powerful attack is the Shun Goku Satsu, his Raging Demon attack. Literally meaning "Instant Hell Murder", Akuma glides to his opponents and grabs them, beating them so severely that, at full power, it can kill a person and destroy their soul."

"This attack was powerful enough to destroy M. Bison's soul, but he kept a piece of it with Rose and was able to fight on, which is one of the laziest and dumbest technicalities in history."

"Akuma is a force to be reckoned with, especially in his advanced form, Shin Akuma, which makes his hair white and attacks more damaging, plus it extends how far he can glide to perform the Raging Demon."

"But, Akuma is like any bully back in the 3rd grade, he can't take a hit. Seriously, one kick on him is like 5 kicks to us, the guy can't take a punch!"

"Akuma also has no defense whatsoever, he focuses solely on attacking and beating his opponents to death's door."

"Finally, several attacks of his are easy to dodge and significantly slower, but he is not to be taken lightly."

"If that night in Aurora has taught me anything, it's that you don't fuck with guys with red hair."

"I am Akuma, and I will teach you the meaning of pain!"

* * *

><p><p>

Akuma:

Height: 5'10"

Weight: 176 lbs.

Weapons:

Dragon Fist

Hurricane Kick

Teleport

Demon Flip

Gou/Shinku Hadoken

Kongo Kokuretsu Zan

The Raging Demon

Shin Akuma

Feats:

Soundly defeated/destroyed M. Bison

Shattered an island in one punch

Most powerful fighter in Street Fighter

Only defeated once

Weaknesses:

Terrible endurance in a fight

Attacks are slower in Shin Akuma form

No defensive strategy

* * *

><p><p>

"Shao Kahn, ruler of Outworld and Konqueror of Worlds, is one of the most overpowered and cheating enemies in history for pure raw power. He is well-versed in Tai Tzu and Lui He, which both stress powerful blows and a strong defense."

"Kahn is the epitome of a bad guy, having abilites like mind control, eating and manipulating souls, and conjuring energy weapons like laser beams, fire balls, and energy spears. He also uses the wrath hammer, a maul so large it takes superhuman strength to wield and be thrown precisely. He can conjure it out of thin air and is unstoppable with it, much like Adrian Peterson when he gets his hands on a stick."

"His moveset includes overpowered hooks, uppercuts, kicks, charging spikes, upward shoulders, and the emperor's shield, which sends projectiles flying back at his enemies."

"Shao Kahn's longevity and endurance are a result of consuming souls, the process of which grants him longer life and the abilities of the souls he's consumed. He can use these souls to create a soulnado, which boost his already ridiculous abilities."

"Kahn isn't a perfect warrior, though. For starters, he's as cocky as a football player fresh from college, often stopping in the middle of a fight to taunt opponents and leave himself wide open to attack."

"He is also restricted to the rules set by the Elder Gods, but he says that he is stronger than them and proves this by defeating everyone in his wake, after taking them seriously, and achieving the power of Armageddon. Where was Jesus on this one?"

"Despite his massive ego, Kahn can easily beat anybody in a fight and secure victory once he is focused."

"It's official...you suck!"

* * *

><p><p>

Shao Kahn:

Height: 7'2

Weight: 400 lbs.

Weapons:

Wrath Hammer

Energy Spear

Eye Lasers

Fire Balls

Emperor's Shield

Uppercut

Hook

Kick

Charging Spikes

Upward Shoulder

Soulnado

Feats:

Conquered almost every realm

More powerful than Elder Gods

Can manipulate minds and souls

Soulnado makes him even more powerful

Weaknesses:

Incredibly arrogant against "weak" opponents

Restricted by Elder Gods' rules

* * *

><p><p>

"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate, once and for all."

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p><p>

Inside the emperor's bleak palace, Shao Kahn watches as Baraka and Sub-Zero ready for battle. But, a man wrapped in a red aura comes crashing through the the ceiling, firing a large purple ball at Baraka, his head exploding on impact. Kahn growls in anger and leaps into the air, landing directly on Sub-Zero and crushing him like a bug in a gory display. Kahn points at Akuma and says, "Prepare to die," with the Raging Demon just laughing at him.

**FIGHT!**

Akuma strikes a pose, his body shaking violently before he spirals at Kahn, his leg extended outward. Kahn blocks the assault and grabs Akuma's leg, grinning as he punches Akuma in the chest, sending him flying back, saying, "Too easy!"

Akuma quickly rises to his feet and cautiously approaches Kahn, the ruler rearing back in a hearty laughter. Akuma raises a fist in the air, a pulsating ball of purple energy clutched in it, and slams it into the ground, ushering more beams of energy from the ground that fling Kahn into the air. Seizing the opportunity, Akuma leaps into the air and lands several blows from his hurricane kick on Kahn before shooting a hadoken into his chest, rocketing the conqueror to the brick floor. Akuma edges closer to the conqueror, still in fighting pose, uttering, "Weaklings! Is there no one worth fighting?"

To the demon's surprise, and joy, Kahn rises once again, jibing, "Is that you're best?"

Not taking kindly to the emperor's taunts, Akuma charges up a massive hadoken and hurls it at Kahn. Kahn uppercuts the air and creates a green field of energy that blocks the hadoken, sending an equally sized green beam at Akuma. The demon is unable to dodge and the projectile explodes on impact, rocketing Akuma back. Akuma slowly rises to his feet as Kahn shoots a fire ball form his mouth, the demon phasing through it and grabbing Kahn, flinging him back to get some breathing room. Kahn summons his wrath hammer and throws it at Akuma, hitting the raging demon square in the jaw, staggering him. Kahn moves in and knocks Akuma into the air with an uppercut, a green aura covering him as he flies upward, ramming his spiked shoulder into Akuma's gut. He does this several more times until Akuma is good and bloodied, Kahn letting him hit the floor. Akuma gets to his wobbly feet before Kahn charges ahead again, the shoulder ram sending Akuma into a wall. Before Akuma can slide down, Kahn produces an energy beam in his hand and impales Akuma's stomach, making the demon gasp in pain and pour more blood from his mouth. Kahn is quickly on the offensive again, landing a series of hooks and jabs on Akuma's face, Kahn uttering, "Feel the wrath of Shao Kahn," before kicking him through the wall.

Akuma skids across the outer courtyard, finally stopping as Kahn lingers. Kahn only stops as a massive flame engulfs Akuma, the demon rises now with white hair, echoing, "I am power made flesh! Feel how weak you truly are!"

Akuma launches another hadoken at Kahn, who once again deflects it back at Akuma. The demon phases through it and charges a purple aura around his fist before rocketing Kahn into the air with an uppercut. Akuma lunges into the air after him, landing a series of furious blows before elbowing Kahn across the skull, sending him crashing to earth. Akuma is once again engulfed in flame as he vibrates madly as he stands on his toes, ready to finish the fight as a green force spirals around Kahn, the emperor's laugh even more maniacal than before. Several decrepit hands grab Akuma and attempt to rip him apart. But the demon fazes through it and grabs Kahn, all going dark as a series of purple strikes light up the darkness. Akuma stands before a fallen Kahn with a blazing inferno engulfing him, the soulnado disappearing. Akuma turns to walk away and find another worthy adversary, but he hears a familiar, deep voice behind him say, "It's official, you suck!"

Akuma's face furrows even further with anger as he turns and glides after Kahn once more, attempting to enact another Raging Demon attack. But, he is promptly cut off by a wrath hammer to the crown of his skull. Akuma falls to the ground, bloody once more and near unconscious as Kahn mercilessly smashes his hammer onto Akuma's skull. The beating forces Akuma back into his regular state, Kahn raising him up high before delving his hands into his chest. Akuma screams in agony as Kahn slowly splits him in half, the emperor charging through the gore and shouting, "Fatality," as he laughs and glows green, absorbing Akuma's soul.

**K.O.!**

"Damn, that was awesome! But how the hell did he survive Shin Akuma's Raging Demon?"

"I'll tell you. While Akuma is a much more offensive fighter and focused in his attacks, Kahn can match him in several abilities. Both can use energy weapons, but Kahn can counter the hadoken with the emperor's shield, taking out a big portion of Akuma's offense. They are also matched in hand-to-hand combat, unless you look at Kahn having thousands of years more experience than Akuma, plus he has a wide variety of defensive capabilities that can keep him unharmed from many of Akuma's attacks. The real challenge is fighting Shin Akuma, making it harder for Kahn to dodge the rapid fighting style he possesses. But Kahn can counter with the soulnado, making him more powerful and fighting for him. The big thing that Kahn has to fight is the Raging Demon, but, as M. Bison showed, leaving a portion of your soul in someone else can save you. It may be likely that Kahn can disperse his soul across all the souls he possesses, but it is also likely that, since he has soul manipulation, he can choose which soul Akuma destroys. It also isn't explicitly stated how Akuma deals with people with multiple souls, so Akuma may just destroy a soul that isn't Kahn's. Finally, Kahn's hammer doles out massive amounts of damage to even someone who blocks it, something Akuma doesn't do, leaving him wide open to lethal blows even before he can use his Raging Demon."

"In this street fight, Akuma's choice of combat led him to a mortal end against Kahn."

"The winner is Shao Kahn."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A massive, red-haired turtle fires a massive ball of fire at an Italian man before executing a series of smash attacks, crushing the man under his weight...

Vs...

A giant man with green skin exchanges sword blows with a shorter elf in green clothing, the larger of the two combatants laughing in a deep, maniacal voice.


	12. Bowser vs Ganondorf

**This Death Battle is brought to you by Duskzilla, thanks for the idea!**

"Nintendo, the beacon for the existence of video games with amazing realms and the ultimate characters."

"Especially in the villains category, with the two most popular being Bowser, the giant fucking turtle, and Ganondorf, the stealer of Princess Zelda."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"The King of the Koopa Army, Bowser has an insatiable taste for power..."<p>

"And a ceaseless desire to rape Princess Peach. Poor thing, her delicate peach wouldn't be able to handle his massive..."

"Stop! He only kidnaps her in order to marry her and take over the Mushroom Kingdom once and for all. She just happens to be the one in power."

"Bullshit."

"His taste for power is not just limited to the earth, he has sought to take over the universe itself, showing he can breathe in space."

"But he doesn't just breathe his enemies in...okay, he does for an attack. Any enemy smaller than Bowser can be sucked in by his powerful mouth. You think that just intensifies the feeling for Peach?"

"Please, stop. Bowser also breathes fire, whether it be a massive flow or balls he can shoot accurately over several yards. He also is incredibly strong, able to leap high into the air and perform diving smashes, flying suplexes, whirling fortress, and the devastating Bowser bomb. All made possible with the weight and density of his shield, which doubles as a powerful case of armor."

"He's also got huge claws, teeth, and horns he uses in a flurry of bites, scratches, and rams, a common thing in a Cosby hotel."

"But, Bowser is not limited yet, he can transform into Giga Bowser, a more savage, powerful version of himself that can take anything you throw at him. The only downside is he doesn't stay in this stage for very long."

"He can be transformed into Giant Bowser, which his him made even more massive. However, he can only achieve this with the help of Kamek."

"Bowser is a powerful and ruthless enemy, but he is a flawed fighter. He has never accomplished his goal of conquering the Mushroom Kingdom and is defeated by either Mario, Luigi, or even Peach."

"Plus, despite his jumping ability, he's fucking slow! Seriously, really fucking slow to walk with that shell!"

"Another aspect is how susceptible to damage he is. Whether it be fire balls or just someone jumping on his head, Bowser has been defeated by all of them and many more methods. He also has a habit of getting himself killed by lava, only to be resurrected by his son."

"Even with that, Bowser is one turtle I'd love to have in a cage and feed lettuce to."

Bowser switches seats with Bowser Jr., taking the backseat before chucking a giant, spiked shell at a cart before them, toppling them over to take 1st place.

* * *

><p>Bowser:<p>

Height: 9'3"

Weight: 2,600 lbs.

Armor:

Shell

Weapons:

Horns

Claws

Teeth

Fire

Whirling Fortress

Vacuum Power

Jumping Smash

Flying Slam

Bowser Bomb

Giga Bowser

Feats:

Nearly took over Mushroom Kingdom/Universe

Can breathe in space

Can race a car

Nearly invincible

Weaknesses:

Never truly conquered any land

Very slow

Terrible damage management

Constantly defeated one-on-one

* * *

><p>"Born to the Gerudo, an exclusively female tribe, Ganondorf was thought to be the fulfillment of the prophecy of a great king being born to them."<p>

"Well, they got leader right as he became Gannon, King of Darkness."

"Careful DAM, Ganon is one of his forms, misspelling his name results in one of the most annoying forum and internet memes, the Ganon Ban."

"That on it's own would derail a thread but not win a Death Battle. Fortunately, he's got tons of skills, like the Triforce of Power, which makes him invulnerable to everything but the Master Sword and Light Arrows, which is good since his steel armor is as useful as Christopher Reeve's treadmill."

"The Triforce also make him ridiculously strong and a master of dark magic that boosts his attacks and trap opponents. He uses it for attacks like the Warlock punch, Wizard's foot, flame choke, and dark dive."

"He just doesn't beat his opponents with magic touch, he also uses the Sword of the Sages, which he pried from his chest and killed the Sage of Water with it. And, just to further be a dick, he continues to carry it and only use it in Twilight Princess."

"Like Bowser, Ganondorf has two beast forms he can utilize, the first being Ganon. In this form, he becomes a pig-like man-beast with a trident capable of summoning fire balls. He can also turn into Beast Ganon, a more violent, quadrupedal version of Ganon that charges into opponents and creates shockwaves by stomping."

"Ganondorf is a difficult man to kill, but he's vulnerable. For starters, like we said, he can be killed for good by the Master Sword or by Light Arrows."

"He can also be trapped inside prisons in the form of books, though it never truly succeeds as he can find ways to escape. Also, his wound from the failed execution by the Sage is now a glowing, gaping wound that acts as a weakspot."

"Finally, Ganondorf is a cocky bastard with a huge God complex, he'll slowly walk to you and give you time to attack him before he even thinks about picking up the pace."

"Even still, Ganondorf is not a force to be trifled with."

Ganondorf crosses his arms before Link and lets out a hearty laugh.

* * *

><p>Ganondorf:<p>

Height: 7'6"

Weight: 450 lbs.

Armor:

Steel Suit of Armor

Weapons:

Sword of the Sages

Triforce of Power

Warlock Punch

Wizard's Kick

Flame Choke

Dark Dive

Feats:

Near invincible

Has come closer than anyone to conquering Hyrule

Skilled enough to match Link in sword-fighting

Has escaped the prison realm multiple times, even if it takes hundreds of years

Weaknesses:

Light Arrows and Master Sword

Armor is very weak

Very arrogant

Doesn't give all in a fight

Imprisonment

Chest Wound

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>A brunette girl screams and thrashes inside a massive castle in the hands of its giant turtle owner, the turtle's laughter only interrupted by the screaming and laughter of another pair. He looks over to see a blonde woman over the shoulder of a laughing green man, the turtle pointing and bellowing, "Hey, that one's mine!"<p>

"You've got mine too, turtle." Ganondorf replies.

The massive villains toss the damsels aside, the girls yelling as they spun uncontrollably to the ground.

**FIGHT!**

Bowser wastes no time and brings his head back and fires a fireball at Ganondorf, the sorcerer easily stepping out of the fireball's path. Ganondorf points a hand at Bowser, the great turtle gasping for breath and clutching his neck as he is raised off his feet. Ganondorf slowly rises his hand to correspond with Bowser's ascendance before throwing his fist down several times, slamming Bowser into the stone floor of his castle multiple times. He releases Bowser and charges at the slowly rising turtle, a black aura engulfing his foot and sends Bowser rocketing back when his kick connects with his jaw. The fire turtle roars in anger before retracting back into his shell, bouncing off the wall, and spinning back at Ganondorf with high velocity. The King has no time to react as the spiked shell slams into him, sending him flying as the shell continues to spin at him. Now angry, Ganondorf braces for another blow and grabs the spiraling shell, stopping its advance before saying, "Is that the best you have?"

Bowser angrily growls from inside his shell before shooting his arms out, stabbing through Ganondorf's armor and piercing his sides with his massive nails. Ganondorf lets out a yelp of pain before Bowser lifts Ganondorf up and jumps high into the air, flipping around and crashing down on Ganondorf. The turtle rises above his crushed foe and lets out a hearty laugh, eyes shut and hands on his hips, before he hears the angry grunts of Ganon, newly formed before him. Blood spatters the floor and Bowser roars in anger as a bony trident pierces his stomach, Ganon getting on all fours and charging the turtle. Bowser rears back with a mighty breath and unleashes a massive stream of fire on his foe, halting him as he is engulfed in the inferno. He ends his fire-breathing briefly to pull the spear from his stomach, only for Ganon to charge into him, goring his stomach with both his tusks and dropping Bowser to his knees. Ganon rears up on his feet to stomp Bowser, smashing him onto his stomach but Ganon rears back up again with a yelp of pain, his feet impaled by Bowser's spikes. His wounds soon heal and he turns back to a larger, more ferocious Bowser. Unafraid, Ganon charges again, but Bowser grabs him by his tusks and begins to slam him from one side to another like a ragdoll, battering Ganon back to his humanoid form. Bowser jumps into the air, draws into his shell, and slams down onto the lying sorcerer, doing so several more times until Ganondorf is battered at the bottom of a deep pit. Bowser slowly reverts back to normal as he stares at his dead opponent, panting for breath before turning away, muttering, "Weak."

Bowser's attention is brought back to the pit when he hears the sound of earth settling, a wobbly Ganondorf on his feet. Bowser lets out an angry roar before attempting another jump smash. Ganondorf produces another ball of black magic over his fist and uppercuts the flying shell, propelling it through the ceiling and high into the atmosphere. The shell begins to spin rapidly as it descends back to earth, gaining more speed as its engulfed in flames. Ganondorf spots the fiery turtle and draws his sword, bringing it to his side as Bowser draws closer. Ganondorf thrusts the sword up as the shell is in reach, crashing down on him in a fiery mushroom cloud. Bowser lays limp atop Ganondorf in a much deeper pit, a bloody sword protruding out the back of his shell. His corpse slowly moves before rolling onto its back, the sorcerer pulling the sword from Bowser's chest.

**K.O.!**

* * *

><p>"Holy shit, childhood achieved! That was fucking awesome!"<p>

"Bowser may hold it in the weight and height category and armor, but Ganondorf outclasses him in black magic, weaponry, and durability. Ganondorf's armor is near useless at defense and Bowser's shell offers much greater protective value. But Bowser is easily defeated by repeated fireballs as strong as his own or successive jumps on his head by a plumber. Ganondorf can only be killed by magical items like the Master Sword or Light Arrows. Bowser may have experience in black magic, but he is dwarfed in his ability by Ganondorf, who can win in the first few seconds by casting Bowser into the lava he surrounds himself with. Even with the limited amount of black magic he has, Bowser can't create a light arrow to kill Ganondorf, nor does he have the Master Sword, so he can't kill Ganondorf. Their move sets are very even, though Bowser's are more powerful due to his size, but Ganondorf's sword is created by the Sages, so it has the power to pierce Bowser's shell and serves as an actual weapon."

"Looks like Ganondorf gave Bowser a disheartening loss."

"The winner is Ganondorf.

Next Time on Death Battle:

A pale, hooded man leaps off of a building onto a bald black man in a suit and tie, quickly tearing into his stomach with his large, sharp nails...

Vs...

A yellow man in tattered clothes, his skull completely exposed through his rotting face, lifts a black man with an afro off the ground, biting into his side before ripping him in half.


	13. Hunter vs Feral

"Fast zombies, the very mention of these words brings fear into the hearts of survivalists, gun nuts, and gamers."

"There are no two zombies faster or scarier than the Hunter, the leaping zombie of Left 4 Dead, and the Feral, the charging zombie of State of Decay."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and skills to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"The hunter is the fastest and most feared active zombie in Left 4 Dead, not for size or power, but for sheer maneuverability and stealth."<p>

"That's right, this bastard can leap several yards at a time, leaping up walls in a back-and-forth way, and uses his jumping to pounce survivors."

"Once pounced, the hunter begins to claw with its sharp nails and bite at the survivor's neck, stomach, and chest in a gory spectacle that takes some time to kill a person, and at higher elevations, the crash landing doles out massive damage to his unfortunate prey. He will also claw opponents who come close and he is unable to pounce for whatever reason."

"The attack isn't always accurate, but if the hunter misses, it only takes a second for him to recharge and attack again. This guy is also very pain tolerant, able to fall from heights that would kill a survivor with no harm or jump everywhere without shitting out from lactic acid build-up."

"He also appears to have no eyes at all, meaning the growls and screeches he has act as some sort of echolocation, plus a great sense of smell allows him to differentiate between infected and humans."

"Finally, the hunter has some form of self-preservation, which is weird for zombies. If he is shot far away, he will leap out of sight to safety."

"But, the hunter isn't the perfect zombie. For starters, he is easy to deal with at a distance, a trained marksmen can easily pick him off."

"He also has to crouch in order to pounce, which makes him growl uncontrollably and give his position away. Plus, if he misses, a second of recharge is needed to do so again, if he's knocked off, it takes several seconds to recharge."

"Finally, hitting him while he is in the middle of a leap or just standing around stumbles him, making him vulnerable to counter-attack."

"But, as far as guys in hoodies go, this is one you definitely have to shoot."

A hunter stalks Louis as he attempts to chase down a helicopter, leaping from the building onto the helpless business man.

* * *

><p>Hunter:<p>

Game: Left 4 Dead

Weapons:

Claws

Teeth

Pounce

Feats:

Can leap incredibly high

Never tires, durable

Can quickly recover from missed pounces

Most common Special Infected

Has some sense of self-preservation

Weaknesses:

Can be picked off at a distance

Growls give it away

Needs to be crouched to attack

Hitting it stumbles it

Pounce takes a while to kill

* * *

><p>"The feral is perhaps to most terrifying zombie in gaming for its horrid visage, element of surprise, and speed."<p>

"This fucker is not to be taken lightly, seriously, he's fucking scary! He has no eyes and his senses are incredibly heightened due to this, he can hear you, smell you, and feel your heart beat precious blood through your body."

"The feral is incredibly fast, able to chase down a running survivor with ease. It also seems to have its own awareness of vehicles, if a survivor tries to run him over, he can dodge it with...a very weak dive. But, it usually works and is very frustrating."

"The feral has a few tricks up his fucked up skin. For starters, he has the pounce, where he throws himself on you and bites into your neck. The next is a fury attack, where he releases a left slash, right slash, and an overhead slash with both clawed hands. To finish his foes, he lifts them off the ground, bites through their side, and tears them in half. I wish I was shitting you on that."

"The feral is incredibly durable, able to survive limb loss and being shot, stabbed, slashed, and bashed multiple times. However, it adheres to Romero rules, destroying the brain kills it. One hit from a vehicle, despite how difficult, will instant kill it."

"Not to mention, if you hit or shoot it enough, the feral will fall to the ground and lie there for a while, leaving it wide open to attack. This also happens if it misses the pounce or is knocked off a survivor, though it recovers much quicker from these."

"You know this thing is not to be fucked with if I can't even joke about it."

The feral hoists Maya off the ground, biting into her side before ripping her in two.

* * *

><p>Feral:<p>

Game: State of Decay

Weapons:

Claws

Teeth

Pounce

Feats:

Faster than a human

Can dodge a vehicle

Superhuman senses

Very durable

Impressive ambush skills

Weaknesses:

Destroying the head

Too much damage renders it prone for a few moments

Vehicles one-shot it

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>A man in a green army suit carefully moves through the open country side, listening and looking all round for any signs of danger. He had just cleared the area of a few zombies, one big charging one, and a screaming one that drew in more. He was cautious, he had come this close to rescue, he couldn't get sloppy now. The man took a puff of the cigarette in his mouth, the smoke nearly being dislodged in fright from a shrill screech. "For Christ's sake...hunter." he muttered.<p>

The old man was caught off guard by the bestial roar behind him. Bill turned to see a yellow man lunging for him, pinning the old man to the ground as he screamed. His screams were cut short by the eyeless zombie biting into his neck, retching back with Bill's throat in its jaws. Another loud screech precedes a hooded zombie slamming onto the duo, forcing the feral off of Bill as the hunter tears through Bill's gut, killing the old man. The feral rears back and lets out another roar to the sky, the bloadsoaked hunter crawling off of Bill and firing back another cry.

**FIGHT!**

The hunter makes the first move, diving at the feral, who just jumps out of his path. The hunter turns to the feral, who unleashes a trio of horizontal and vertical slashes, stumbling the infected and raking his chest and head several times over. The hunter stumbles back, gaining its footing before leaping away with a pained yelp. The feral is in quick pursuit, aiming to chase the jumper down. The feral just leaps over a fence in the massive cornfield and is pounced in midair by the hunter, tackling it to the ground before tearing into the feral's guts. The beast madly claws at the hunter's face as it begins to fling intestines aside, reaching in to bite the feral's neck. The hunter tears through the feral's carotid and rips open the front-left side of its neck, but the feral is still restless. The yellow zombie grabs both sides of the hunter's head and sinks its teeth into the hunter's throat, silencing its roars as the hunter stumbles back. The gory feral charges at the hunter again, who returns with another lunge. The feral catches it in the face with another claw swipe, tearing into its left cheek and eye socket. Another swipe tears open the other side, and the overhead swipe tears open its hoody and scalp, dropping the hunter to its knees. The feral lunges for the hunter, spearing it to the ground as it bites open the entire left side of its neck. Sensing the hunter is weak, the feral lifts it up, horizontal to the ground, before sinking its teeth into the hunter's side, the mute beast no longer able to screech. In one mighty heave, the feral parts the hunter like a new Red Sea, tossing the halves aside before letting out another roar.

**K.O.!**

"NO! FUCK NO! IT'S STILL ALIVE! KILL ME, PLEASE!"

"While the hunter has maneuverability and greater abilities to distance and set up the feral for attack, the main thing is the feral's brain has to be destroyed in order for it to die, lopping limbs off or coring holes through the feral doesn't do much to stop it. The hunter has no attack to deal damage to its head during a pounce, even its claw swipes take time to kill even a boomer, which is significantly weaker. But the hunter can die from numerous means, so the feral can wear it down enough over time to kill it or set it up for the final blow. This was very close as they both move very quickly, have super senses due to being eyeless, and pin opponents helplessly to the ground. Another deciding factor was the feral's nonstop approach to attack, where the hunter would leap away when wounded. The feral can also pinpoint the hunter quicker since it uncontrollably screeches when crouched, constantly alerting the feral of where it is. Finally, the hunter is also susceptible to being stumbled by melee attacks, where several attacks are needed to do this to a feral."

"The feral left the hunter for dead and decaying."

"The winner is the Feral."

Next time on Death Battle:

A massive, bipedal, dinosaur-like creature lumbers through Tokyo, letting out a high-pitched roar as it glows blue from lightning strikes...

Vs...

A pale, quadrupedal monster tears through New York, throwing the Statue of Liberty's head across the city.


	14. Godzilla vs Clover

"Giant monsters, the thing of legends all across all forms of media, despite how impossible it would be for them to actually exist."

"Among the most requested and sought after fights of all is between Godzilla, the king of the monsters, and Clover, the destroyer of Manhattan."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"Starting off after being awoken by atomic bomb testing off Bikini Atoll, Godzilla is a centuries old being that feeds off radiation, and is part-time enemy and savior of mankind."<p>

"He's a giant motherfucker who doesn't care for things like collateral damage to buildings or the fact he emits radiation levels lethal to humans, he's a badass."

"Speaking of radiation, Godzilla can shoot an atomic ray of pure radiation that can melt and destroy pretty much anything he aims it at, emit a short-range radiation pulse, or shoot it with enough force to...fly..."

"The fuck? Still not the weirdest Godzilla-related thing I've seen all day...I don't want to talk about it. He also can power it up into the powerful red spiral ray, capable of destroying his much more powerful clone, Space Godzilla, wait, what, Space Godzilla?!"

"Yes, Space Godzilla is a thing, moving on..."

"Oh."

"Even with all of his radioactive attacks, Godzilla's abilities are not yet limited. He has a regenerative ability, able to come back from being nothing but a heart or survive a meteor that destroyed a city like it was nothing."

"He's also really fucking strong, able to slam King Ghidorah like a ragdoll despite the fact he's 10,000 tons heavier than Godzilla, which helps since he's as strong as Thor!"

"Finally, Godzilla is able to channel greater strength from lightning itself, though he is vulnerable to man-made electricity, namely telephone wires."

"But, Big G isn't invincible, for example he got beat by King Kong and Mothra, the first is really over 20 feet tall and the other is...a giant moth."

"Despite his regenerative abilities, he has been killed before, most notably by the robot designed to kill him, MechaGodzilla 2."

"Wait, what?!"

"It's a thing. Finally, Godzilla is clumsy, slow, and some fights he has only survived because of outside help from his allies."

"But you know you're badass when you're a giant radioactive dinosaur who can ally himself with giant robots."

Godzilla rears back, baring his intimidating teeth and letting out a thunderous roar.

* * *

><p>Godzilla:<p>

Age: 65 Million Years Old

Height: 355 Feet

Weight: 90,000 Tons

Weapons and Abilities:

Teeth

Claws

Tail

Atomic Breath

Red Spiral Ray

Atomic Pulse

Regenerative Properties

Godly Strength and Durability

Feats:

Survived volcanoes, black holes, city-destroying asteroids, and being reduced to a heart

Killed 10 monsters in a row in rapid succession

Threw King Ghidorah around

As strong as Thor

Breath is so strong he can gain flight

Weaknesses:

Slow

Clumsy

Vulnerable to man-made electricity

Has been killed before

Defeated by less powerful enemies

Has relied on backup to win some fights

* * *

><p>"A normal send-off party in Manhattan quickly spiraled into chaos as a giant monster made its way to the Big Apple."<p>

"Clover became the stuff of legend since, a fucked up, Satan's wet dream legend."

"Clover, despite its power and glory, is still just a baby, meaning it is still larger and more dangerous, but even as a baby it can eat full-grown whales for breakfast."

"Let's see those pussies from Whale Wars throw butter at this! But it doesn't just eat media attention whores, Clover is covered in parasites it sheds just after birth, and these fuckers are nasty."

"The venom they carry causes a very bad case of anaphylactic shock where a person literally explodes. Not to mention it is incredibly strong, able to toss the Statue of Liberty's head, made of steel and copper, clear from Ellis Island into Manhattan. Keep in mind the head itself weighs just over 11 tons."

"Clover can rip buildings apart with its bare hands, survive artillery shells and bombs, and do all this on those spindly little legs."

"But, Clover is not what it appears to be. Being a baby, the creature is actually acting out in a scared manner, lashing out purely through fear. This means it is completely erratic and unpredictable in its current state, which may or may not benefit it."

"Not to mention it died after an airstrike took place that completely wiped out Manhattan, way too anticlimactic."

"Despite its shortcomings, no man would be foolish enough to confront the Cloverfield monster."

The head of the Statue of Liberty comes crashing through buildings before resting in the middle of the street, a distant roar signaling the city's panic.

* * *

><p>Clover:<p>

Age: Unknown, most likely no more than a week

Height: 250 feet

Weight: 6,400 tons

Weapons and Abilities:

Teeth

Claws

External Esophagi

Tail

Parasites

Incredibly Strong

Feats:

Threw the Statue of Liberty's head like a baseball

Tears apart buildings

Resistant to almost all forms of attack

Eats full-grown whales

Weaknesses:

Acting out in fear, no planning whatsoever

Eventually killed by airstrikes

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p>Cars and people bustle in the streets of Manhattan, all going about their lives on a sunny day. All of that changed when dozens began to scream as a grotesque gray beast rose from the ocean, its elongated for limbs bent at an awkward angle. It rose on its hind legs and let out a roar before tearing into its first skyscraper, flinging the shards of the building at the street, a massive pile up ensuing. The beast then goes throughout Manhattan, tearing into more buildings, knocking several over, and obliterating a news helicopter in one swipe. The beast raises its hands to crush a hospital, but it freezes mid-attack as the ground begins to tremble every so often. Clover gets back on all fours and turns to find a massive lizard with spikes radiating down its back behind it, the behemoth rearing back and letting out a thunderous roar.<p>

**FIGHT!**

Clover bum rushes Godzilla, ramming head first into the lizard and sending them both crashing onto a small restaurant. Clover gets to its feet first, smashing its clawed hand into Godzilla's face, pounding his head further and further into the ground. The gray beast raises both hands to finish the job, but Godzilla's mouth opens and a blue ray fires out at Clover, blasting it in the face and sending the quadruped stumbling back, roaring in pain and rage. Godzilla rises and blasts the beast once more in the chest, stumbling Clover back even further until the blast takes Clover off its feet and sends it flying into the ocean, Godzilla moving in the direction of Clover's flight path to finish it.

Or so he thought.

A giant green ball came flying at Godzilla, crashing into his face with a deep, metallic "ting". Godzilla crashes back in a daze, the head of the Statue of Liberty by his side. The king of the monsters is unable to rise as Clover slams down onto him from atop a building, immediately going to work clawing into Godzilla. The strikes begin to tear through Godzilla's tough hide and Clover is eventually tearing chunks of flesh out of Godzilla's chest. Desperate, Godzilla begins to roar as Clover begins to tear deeper and deeper into him. Clover saw the beating heart in Godzilla's flayed chest, mouth open to sink its teeth into Godzilla's heart.

Now it was his turn. Godzilla began to spark with electricity before a huge wave of blue radiated from the giant lizard, rocketing Clover up into the air and crashing back down to earth on a crane. Clover slowly picks itself up as Godzilla begins its approach once more, his wounds healing shut. Clover spun around and whipped its tail right into Godzilla's face, but the gray beast let out a panicked roar as it turned to see its tail in Godzilla's teeth. With more pressure and a quick thrash, Godzilla bit Clover's tail in two, making the gray beast's jaw nearly unhinge as it roared in agony. Clover spun around, claws out to rip into Godzilla once more, but Godzilla ducks the blow and slams his own tail into Clover's face, nearly decapitating it from the torque. Enraged, Clover turns and sinks its teeth into Godzilla's shoulder, making the beast roar in anger as it sunk its own teeth into Clover's face, taking out both of its eyes. Blind and panicked, Clover releases Godzilla and swipes the air blindly, hoping to it the lizard. One last swing ends up with Godzilla grabbing Clover by the wrist and flipping Clover over him, slamming it back first onto the jagged remnants of the crane. Impaled through the stomach, Clover lets out another pained roar as Godzilla's back plates glow red, the king of the monsters unleashing a devastating red ray onto the quadruped's head, obliterating it in a gory spectacle, large chunks of skull and globs of brain splashing the surrounding block in a flood of blood. Observing its destroyed foe once more, Godzilla rears back and lets out an earth-shaking roar.

**K.O.!**

"Well...fuck...we broke New York, again."

"Clover is incredibly fast for its size and can easily outpace Godzilla, but Godzilla outclasses Clover in every other conceivable category. Godzilla can shoot rays of pure radiation at forces strong enough to lift it off the ground, and, since Godzilla 14 times heavier than Clover, this easily translates to kill Clover, the force alone is enough to crush him. Godzilla has the ability to survive almost anything thrown at him, including a city-leveling asteroid like it was nothing, while Clover was eventual killed by a series of bombs, plus, if repetitive attacks break through Godzilla's hide, he can heal from it just as quickly as the wounds appear. Additionally, Godzilla appears to have experience in boxing and judo, so he can best Clover in hand-to-hand combat. Most importantly, Godzilla is a smart creature, able to plan attacks as it goes into a non-stop state of destruction, while Clover acts completely in fear. Godzilla can easily use this to his advantage and take down Clover. Plus, Clover's parasites are only wolf-sized, so they pose no threat to Godzilla since they can't puncture his hide, even then their venom only affects humans, their venom won't harm a creature of Godzilla's size since they don't hurt Clover. Finally, despite Clover being just a baby, we can estimate the size of an adult Clover using the largest thing in the world, a blue whale, as a reference. At birth, a baby blue whale weighs 3 tons and is 25 feet long and, as an adult, it is 100 feet long and 210 tons in weight. Using this math on what we know about Clover, an adult clover may be 1,000 feet tall and weigh 448,000 tons. This makes an adult Clover over 3 times taller and over 5 times heavier than Godzilla, but Godzilla has fought enemies time and again more powerful than him and won. Additionally, we may never see adult Clovers as they are so large, the pressure on land would be so great they'd literally be crushed under their own weight like a beached whale. Even still, with no real powers, even an adult Clover would stand no chance against Godzilla's atomic powers."

"Looks like Clover wasn't so lucky against Godzilla."

"The winner is Godzilla."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A woman in a yellow coat and pants holds her ground with a katana raised, a group of dozens of Yakuza closing in all around her.

Vs.

A woman in a red outfit and cap duels a man clad in red with a pair of sai, quickly gaining the upper hand.


	15. Beatrix Kiddo vs Elektra

"Femme fatales with vast experience in martial arts and weaponry are often a mainstay of our modern media."

"There's also no two women more suited to kill anything than Beatrix Kiddo, the Bride of Kill Bill, and Elektra, the sexy assassin in red."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"A former greatest member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, Beatrix Kiddo, her friends, and her fiance were attacked by Bill, leaving her for dead after shooting her in the head."<p>

"Yeah, she took a shot to the head better than Ray Rice's wife."

"Fuck's sake!"

***Technical Difficulties: Please Wait***

"Afterward, she spent 4 years in a coma, reserved enough strength to bite a man's tongue off and cause a cerebral hemorrhage in another by slamming his head in between the door and the jamb. She then overcame the atrophy in her legs after 13 hours, a task that usually could take months to overcome."

"Beatrix wields the Hattori Hanzo katana, his best forged sword made personally to take on the Assassination Squad. It is capable of slicing apart other katanas and splitting men in two, vertically. She also seems very capable of wielding two at once, a very dangerous feat that requires rigorous training."

"Holy shit! She's also a master with this thing after the sword took weeks to make, making her far deadlier with it and able to combat and kill people just as skilled as, if not more skilled than her."

"Beatrix was also trained in martial arts by Pai Mei, a master in Bak Mei Kung Fu, which emphasizes on explosive close-range strikes and jamming your opponents attacks. She uses this to perform the three inch punch, capable of breaking through a coffin..."

"After a ton of hits and destroying her hand, lame!"

"...while buried six feet underground. Not factoring the coffin in, four cubic meters of dirt weighs approximately 5 tons, all of that piled on top adds to the strength at which Kiddo can punch and dig through it. It also gives her a masterful knowledge of how to harm a person, like how she can rip an eye out in a single pluck, and has a mastery of pressure points."

"Finally, she is taught his most dangerous move via pressure points, the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, racking the victim in immediate pain, hemorrhaging, and makes their heart explode after five steps."

"Kiddo has survived being shot in the head, shot with rock salt from a shotgun, fighting and killing, injuring, and dismembering the entire Crazy 88 Gang but one, which actually only consisted of about 40 members, at once, and being cut by swords multiple times in her quest to kill O-Ren Ishi, pressing on through non-stop fighting to kill her."

"But, Kiddo is driven through what most rednecks are when they beat their wives, pure rage...and lack of beer. She has gotten herself into very hairy situations that could have killed her, like her encounter with Buck that got her shot and put under or her massive fight with the Crazy 88."

"Additionally, the plate in her head can be exploited as a weakness as it does cause her a level of discomfort. Finally, Beatrix prefers not to use guns, though she is a good aim, but favors and up-close, quick kill."

"Still, this is one Kiddo you don't want to fuck with."

"Your name is Buck, right? And you came to fuck?" Beatrix hisses, slamming the door on the man's head one final time.

* * *

><p>Beatrix Kiddo:<p>

Age: 27

Height: 5'11"

Weight: 140 lbs.

Weapons and Abilities:

Hattori Hanzo Katana

Bak Mei Kung Fu

Feats:

Survived being shot in the head, four years in a coma, the entire Crazy 88, and being shot with rock salt

Can pluck an eye out faster than one can blink

Punched her way out of a grave

Overcame complete leg atrophy in 13 hours

Killed or incapacitated every member of the Crazy 88 and the Assassination Squad

Weaknesses:

Acts in revenge, impulsive

Strictly close-quarters

Steel skull plate

* * *

><p>"A girl born on a Greek island, Elektra encountered hardship throughout her life, her mother was mortally wounded by assassins sent by her older brother, dying right as she gave birth to the girl. After being assaulted by a group of thugs, her older brother sent a sensei to teach her and her father some basic self-defense."<p>

"But, things only got more fucked when Elektra and her dad were kidnapped and he was killed, making her go on the run to China to intensely study martial arts. Notice how I didn't make a joke about her dad supposedly raping her, happy?"

"Very. She soon became associated with the Hand, a sect of mystical ninjas. She is trained in several martial arts, but she is a master of and favors ninjutsu, the art of stealth and deception. She is proficient with many weapons, especially her Japanese sai daggers, which have electric traps on each handle that shock everyone that isn't her, based on the design of her nervous system, for a minute. Her other weapons include katanas, three-section staffs, and shuriken. She also has an extensive knowledge of pressure points that can hurt, incapacitate, paralyze, or kill."

"The Hand has also taught her some pretty cool abilities, like some control in telepathy and minor mind control. She also has the ability to throw her mind into the body of others, temporarily borrowing their minds and bodies as she controls them, or uses it to find out exactly where her prey is at all times. Oh, the amount of ass I would pursue, not even marriage would stop me if I was that spouse."

"Elektra is also pushed to the limits of the human body, she is incredibly fast, strong, stamina, pain, cold, and heat resistance, is an Olympic-level athlete and gymnast, has control over her nervous system, which allows her to dull pain or stem bleeding, and has extraordinary stealth skills."

"Holy shit, imagine trying to lie to this chick, she can tell in five different ways you went to the club and send you to the couch, or kill you, with 12 different techniques! Not to mention she's bested both Daredevil and Wolverine in fights, the last one she subdued and returned to a human state twice!"

"But, despite her amazing abilities, Elektra is certainly not immortal. She was easily detected, overpowered, and killed by Bullseye. She also isn't the best at her job as an assassin, failing or abandoning several missions, some for personal reasons."

"Finally, Elektra is constantly battling the good and evil in her soul, switching sides constantly and often impairing her abilities, even in a fight."

"Like I said, this is one chick you don't want to lie to, about anything, ever."

"I am Elektra Natchios. Not even the stars are safe in the skies."

* * *

><p>Elektra:<p>

Age: Early to Mid 30's

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 130 lbs.

Weapons and Abilities:

Sai

Katana

Three-Section Staff

Shuriken

Ninjutsu

Feats:

A master in several martial arts

Defeated Daredevil and Wolverine

Can use her opponents' minds to lead her to her target, have omnipotence of the area they are in

Complete control of her nervous system

Pushed to limits of human body

Can lift twice her body weight

Weaknesses:

Has been killed by a less powerful foe

Has trouble completing several jobs

Constantly battling her inner good and evil

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

A woman clad in pure yellow walks down the streets of Tokyo at night, looking for her latest target to kill. She walks past an alley and stops in the illumination of street light, slowly looking at it and saying, "You're going to have to do better than that if you want to kill me."

A woman in a revealing red dress steps out of the shadows, twirling a pair of sai in her hands as she answered, "Wow, you're a harder contract to pick up than I thought. This should be interesting."

"Funny, I was hired to kill a tramp described to be just like you." Kiddo replies, producing her katana at her side.

**FIGHT!**

Elektra jams her sai into the loops at her hips, producing a couple of shurikens in each hand and flings them at the Bride, who leaps out of the way of the attack. She rises to find Elektra sprinting at her with unbelievable speed, a staff in hand. Elektra swings it down on Kiddo, who raises her katana up to block the blow, only to discover too late that the staff is sectioned, the top half wrapping over and smashing over the crown of her skull. Left with the stinging pain on her head, Kiddo backhands her katana at Elektra, who ducks the blow and slams the middle section of the staff into Kiddo's side, knocking the wind from her. Kiddo stumbles back to catch her breath and strategize while Elektra taunts, "Silly little American girl who likes to play with samurai swords, how did you get this far?"

"You want me to try?"

"That would be nice."

Kiddo smiles as she strikes her battle pose, katana raised horizontal to her face, tip aimed at Elektra. Elektra almost instantly appears at Kiddo's side, still in her pose and swings the staff onto the Bride once more. The staff parts in two before Elektra can comprehend what's happening, Beatrix's katana still raised in the air as she land a swift, hard backhand across Elektra's face, sending the red assassin spinning back. Elektra turns to Kiddo stepping up to her and delivering a side kick, lading it in her gut and sending the Greek flying into a lamppost. Elektra shakes the cobwebs from her head and rises to her feet, Kiddo quipping, "Is that harder than your father hit you?"

"Don't you dare speak of my father that way!" Elektra roars, charging at the Bride with a katana.

The Bride blocks and leaping chop from Elektra, the two testing each other's strength with sparks flying from their swords. Elektra releases a hand from the sword's handle and jams her index and middle finger into Kiddo's left shoulder, her arm instantly going limp as Kiddo backs away from the test, gritting her teeth in pain. "I just dislocated your shoulder with two fingers, what can you do with one hand?"

"Come here and I'll show you."

The two charge at one another again in another test of strength, Elektra slowly bending Kiddo backwards as she struggles to battle with one arm. Desperate, Kiddo shoots her head forward, latching onto Elektra's right hand with her teeth. Elektra screams in pain as blood runs from Kiddo's mouth, dropping her katana as she shoots her hand at Elektra's face, ripping out her left eye. Elektra grabs her empty socket, spinning around and screaming in agony, completely ignoring the bloody teethmarks in her hand just below her thumb. She turns to a once again ready Kiddo, katana in hand, as the blood flow in both wounds stems, the Bride crushing the eye in her hand. Elektra charges Kiddo once more, the two clashing swords, Elektra looking in shock as her katana is split in half. She looks just in time as Kiddo swings her katana back at her, ducking the slice and slashing the Bride across the stomach with the remnants of her katana, slicing through her coat and into her abdomen. Blood fills Beatrix's mouth as she holds her bleeding stomach with her barely functional left arm, point her katana in her free arm at Elektra as she slowly falls backwards, Elektra dropping her katana for her twin sai. Kiddo attempts to rise, but Elektra throws one of her sai at the Bride's bad shoulder, pinning her into the blacktop as Kiddo gasps and grimaces in pain. She stands straddled over Kiddo, her remaining sai grasped in both hands, as Kiddo points her fingertips of her flat hand at Elektra's knee, the assassin lowering her weapon and laughing, "There's no pressure points in the front of the knee. Who trained you, a blind man?"

"You're already half way there," Kiddo quips, Elektra stomping onto her wound as she barely utters, "This is the three-inch punch."

With that, Kiddo unleashes a quick, short punch into Elektra's knee, snapping it backwards before it recoils back into normal shape. The Greek shrieking in pain as she collapses onto Kiddo, the Bride quickly rolling over and straddling on top of Elektra, landing three quick jabs with her fingertips onto Elektra's left chest, landing a fourth one that resulted in a twist, and a hard fifth one. Blood flows freely from Elektra's mouth, Kiddo smiling until a sai dug into her stomach, the Bride gasping and slowly grabbing the weapon in her body. Slowly, the Bride collapsed back, clinging to life as Elektra rises to her feet, taunting, "You have no idea what you're up against, I can numb the pain you put me through, I can stop the bleeding of that pressure point, how do you think you can stop me?"

"Because...you're about to take your fifth step."

Elektra's eyes go wide as she does just that, clutching her chest before she crumbles to the ground. Kiddo's head flops back as she grabs the blade of the sai, slowly pushing it out with a few pained gasps, and lets out a sigh of relief, lying in the street as the nigh sky revolves above her.

**K.O.!**

* * *

><p>"Goddamn, that was a hell of a cat fight, show it again!"<p>

"This is one of the closest fights we've had to date. Both are incredible assassins with a mastery of their weapons and martial arts. Elektra has the ability to nullify pain and slow her bleeding rate, along with her holding more weapons would give her an advantage, but not against the Bride. Elektra may have speed and reflexes on her side, but the Bride shows she is fast and has quick enough reflexes to dodge multiple blows at once or tomahawks thrown at close range, so she can easily dodge most of what Elektra throws at her, including her shuriken. Kiddo's punches can break through thick wood with tons of dirt piled above it, equivalently as hard as concrete, the force needed to punch through even a 4x4 inch piece, about the size of a fist, takes 427 pounds of force, so her punches hit with enough force to break bone, punch through her body, or, if it is in the head, decapitate her. No weapon Elektra has has the strength of Kiddo's Hattori Hanzo sword, it can cut through anything before it. While the sai is designed to disarm and break swords, Kiddo has fought disarmed before and won with her martial arts skills, but it is unlikely that a sai will break her sword since it can effortlessly cut apart katanas. Plus, Elektra may have greater knowledge of pressure points, but Beatrix knows the deadliest of them all and, while Elektra can stop her bleeding, she can't keep her heart from exploding as a result of the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique and getting close enough to do so to Kiddo leaves her in danger of one of the Bride's lethal punches. Additionally, scaling to what Newton's laws have taught us, Kiddo can punch with 427 psi with one hand from just three inches, so she can also lift that amount with ease using both hands, meaning she overpowers Elektra just like she was by Bullseye. Finally, it comes down to tenacity as the most crucial aspect, Elektra shows remorse in those she kills while Beatrix has killed or maimed every target or person who gets in her way without letting her emotions stop her, like how she killed Vernita Green, who has a young daughter, while Elektra wouldn't kill a person who remembered who she was."

"Looks like Beatrix gave Elektra a disheartening loss."

"The winner is Beatrix Kiddo."

Next Time on Death Battle:

It's a battle of the most blatant Mary Sues:

A girl with long Ebony hair in goffic clothes shoots a gun a gazillion times at Snap and Loopin, sending the perverts crashing to the Earth below.

Vs.

A man with short black and blonde hair in all black attire locks a blonde girl in a sleeper hold, screaming at her to never touch his coat.


	16. Ebony Dark'ness Raven Way vs Konig Amsel

"Mary Sues, the most dreaded characters to read and something every author should avoid."

"Or be mocked like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, the bipolar witch/vampire of My Immortal, and Konig Amsel, the sadist of his own self-titled story and Tortured."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"The desire of every man, no matter their age or alignment, Ebony is a recklessly powerful member of Hogwarts School of Wizardry."

"Ebony's main weapon is her wand, which she uses to cast spells or even illegal curses like Crookshanks."

"Actually, what she meant to say was Cruciatus, the unforgivable torture curse."

"Well, since she can get away with that, Ebony can cast literally any spell or curse she wants without repercussion, making her as dangerous as she is illiterate. She can also use the magic for her own use, such has healing wounds, which she doesn't really need since, being a vampire, she can survive repeatedly cutting herself."

"She has achieved all of this even when she rarely goes to class and focuses more on sub-par punk-goth bands and shopping for "goffic" clothes."

"Ebony was also able to escape Imperius spell, even though you're, you know, not supposed to be able to move."

"She is also the most desired girl in Hogwarts, making men of all ages fall for her, even gay or bisexual men like Harry, Ron, and Snape."

"Ebony also rarely uses her broom and carries an unspecified pistol, which apparently has a bottomless clip since she shot it, 'a gazillion times'."

"Well, it may be just poor exaggeration, but it does appear her gun is magical and able to produce its own bullets. But, she is a horrible shot with it, even if she does it someone with it, it is never enough to hit a vital area, or she just misses altogether."

"Ebony is also pretty fucking stupid. Apart from the speaking level of 2 year old, she forgets she is with Draco until she has sex with Harry, abandons Draco altogether, skips class, and continues to fall in and out of love with multiple characters, even if its someone like Voldemort, the man she must destroy. Hell, she can't even remember her own name. Plus, she can be killed by a ribeye, folks."

"Actually, that's another misspelling, she really meant stake, though she isn't affected by things like sunlight or crosses, which she has on-again, off-again hatred of. Finally, Ebony may have knowledge of virtually any spell or curse, her lack of going to class really affects her abilities to act appropriately in a fight. She even mispronounces several spells, which could have catastrophic effects in the actual Harry Potter canon."

"But, as far as goths go...okay, she's as dumb and attention-starved as every goth ever."

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!"

* * *

><p><p>

Ebony:

Age: 17

Height: Unspecified

Weight: Unspecified

Weapons:

Wand, Uncanny knowledge of any spell or curse

Broom

Gun

Razors

Knife

Feats:

The desire of every Harry Potter male character

Shrugged off the Imperius spell

Can use any spell/curse without repercussion

Immune to many vampire ailments

Weaknesses:

Stakes

Incredibly stupid

Never attends class

Gets weak from lack of blood consumption

* * *

><p><p>

"Konig Amsel was trained since he was a toddler to become the greatest hunter in all of Vale, training in a multitude of weapons and fighting styles."

"He wields, because fuck German and the Nazi-fetish-obsessed author, two extendable wrist blades, a bow, dual pistols, a double-edged sword, hunting knife, sniper-lance, and a shield. He also wears titanium leg and arm guards to further protect himself. He carries a transceiver and a parachute, which are utterly fucking useless, and a two-way teleporter."

"He also has an aura over his body to protect him from damage, though extensive damage will drop this skin-tight shield and leave him vulnerable to flesh wounds."

"The guy also has a semblance that allows him to see his opponent's blood pressure, heartbeat, and body heat. Unfortunately, if he uses it too much or too long, he is driven mad and shoots and stabs at anything."

"Konig is much like Ebony, only he is the desire of Ruby Rose, who ignores the fact that Konig constantly attacks and threatens those she cares about."

"But, his "affection" doesn't end there, he systematically picked apart the man RWBY cast. He tortured, killed, and raped every member as part of a psychopathic fantasy to show how twisted everyone's fantasies are."

"But, other than that, Konig doesn't do a whole hell of a lot, not engaging in any real fair fights or combat."

"His rage also makes him very impulsive and unpredictable, coupled with the fact he has not really fought anything, further degrades his combat prowess."

"Finally, he treasures his coat, meaning more to him than even those he cares about, which only includes Ruby, sometimes."

"I fucking hate this guy."

"Don't touch my dad's coat, you bitch!"

* * *

><p><p>

Konig Amsel:

Age: 18

Height: 7'1"

Weight: 300 lbs.

Weapons:

Twin Wrist Blades

Bow

Dual Pistols

Sword

Sniper-lance

Hunting Knife

Armor and Defense:

Shield

Titanium Arm and Leg Guards

Transceiver

Two-Way Teleporter

Parachute

Feats:

Accepted to Beacon

Trained since he was three

Systematically killed or harmed every RWBY main character

"Fluent" in German

Weaknesses:

Spends little time fight, improving skills

Semblance drives him insane

Prone to fits of rage

* * *

><p><p>

"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."

"It's time for a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

A girl in a black and red miniskirt, black leather corset, and black platform stilettos steps outside an English castle, her complexion white but her face whiter still from a mask of foundation. Her long, ebony hair hung long at her back, gently waving in the breeze of the sunny day. "Oh fer Satn's zaek, I msis draco suh much. y did he comtit sucied so secksily." she said in a dull tone.

She looked up to find a gigantic blonde man approaching her, an array of weapons plastered to him, smoothing his hair as he approached the girl, speaking in a deep voice, "Hey."

"Hey." she responded.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm a wtich nda vumpyre, i go too dis skool fur majick and sutff. Ur cut, wut's ur nim?"

"Konig Amsel. So, you got a boyfriend?"

"Yah, I dun thik so u sik pervert, i'm datgni Drcao!" she yelled at him abruptly, catching the man off guard.

"Jeez, all you had to do was say so."

"Fuk of, prep!" she screeched, shoving the man back.

Konig stumbled back a few feet, looking down and seeing the four rake marks left in his coat by Ebony's black nails. "I'll kill you for that, you bitch!"

**FIGHT!**

Ebony whips a gun from her side and aims it at Konig, unleashing a ceaseless barrage of thousands of bullets, the tall man holding his crossed arms before his head to protect himself. His attempt was unnecessary, as every single shot wend wide of him, not one within a foot of him. Smiling, Konig charged at Ebony, spinning around and backhanding his right arm guard against her head, flinging the witch to the ground. He quickly moved to Ebony once more, pressing down with all his weight on her stomach, drawing a sword. He raised it high overhead in both hands, Ebony drawing a wand and aiming it up at shouting, "Exsmellyanus!"

A bright flash of blue radiates from the wand's pointed tip, rocketing Konig back and sending his sword fling further back down the steep incline. He quickly gets to his knees and aims a sniper at the girl, shooting her through the heart. The grin on his face dropped as he saw the girl was somehow in one piece, the small hole of the bullet quickly sealing up. Enraged, Ebony ran for and grabbed her gun off the ground, taking aim once more and unleashing a barrage of off-aim bullets, Konig rising and casually walking up to a still-firing Ebony. He stood point-blank with the gun, somehow still unharmed, and converted his sniper to a lance, ramming it through Ebony's stomach and out her back. He looks into Ebony's eyes with a smile, only to see the girl still very much in the fight and with a sick, twisted smile on her face, wiping her hand against the wound and wiping the blood against her tongue, Konig's pants instantly tightening. Her smile soon disappeared as she sunk her teeth into Konig's stomach, ripping back and opening up his flesh, revealing the lining of his intestines beneath. Konig stumbles back, struggling from blood loss and trying not to break the membrane holding back his intestines. Ebony slowly drew the spear back out of her stomach, breaking it over her knee before slitting both of her wrists with the blade. "Why would you do that?"

"B-cuz i'm a sexah goff vagipire, and i wil destoyr u, u filty prep!"

"That makes no sense, why would you cut yourself in the middle of a fight?"

"PREEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Ebony roars, charging for Konig

Konig throws down a metal device before stepping on it, disappearing in a flash before Ebony can lunge for him.

Back at the bottom of the hill he had just climbed to reach the academy, Konig collapses to a seated position, quickly wrapping his wounds and injecting himself with a few needles to stop the bleeding and numb the pain. "How did she get through my aura?" he thought aloud.

He looked up the hill to find the illogical woman, activating his semblance to find her much more quickly. He looks to the skies to find the girl on a broom, wand in hand. Enraged, the man aims to pistols at the goth, a quick wave of her wand preceding her shouting, "Crookshanks!"

Konig dropped his pistols, his whole body shivering as he dropped to his knees, screaming in agony. Ebony looked onto the man with sadness, snapping her fingers and ending the man's immense pain. She slowly lowered down to his level, running her hands through his hair and whispering, "I'm sury, dew u wunt 2 skew?"

Konig shot up instantly, landing an uppercut that knocked Ebony off her broom and crashing her back to the hard earth. Konig draws a knife and straddles Ebony, repeatedly stabbing her in the chest and heart. Before he can stab her more, Ebony shouts, "Erecto!"

The blade of the knife shatters on impact, only the grip is left intact. Konig rams the handle into Ebony's mouth, forcing his hand in her mouth and shoving it down her throat as he grunts, "I bet you're used to this. If not, you will be when I'm through with you tonight!"

He positions his hand over both of her breasts, two blades shooting out and impaling her. He raises her off the ground and stares at her with rage, growling, "Why won't you die?!"

Ebony spits the handle out of her mouth, smiling as she quipped, "Ive had biger dan dat in meh throt, drac haz uh big-u-no-wut."

"Of course you're a whore, too." Konig replies, rolling his eyes.

His lack of attention gave Ebony an opening, the goth pointing her wand at Konig's loins, shouting, "Sucktilseptember!"

A series of invisible slashes ripped through Konig's pants, his bloody manhood dropping to the ground with a fountain of blood. Konig doubles over, dropping Ebony as he clutched his now-empty crotch. Ebony swipes her hand through the air, her broom rocketing down from the sky and straight into Konig's rear, the entirety of the wood sinking into his body until the tip popped out his skull, the bristles radiating from his rear. The corpse fell forward, Ebony dropping to her knees and sobbing, "Y duz evreyboty luv me, y do i half 2 b so pefrct."

**K.O.!**

"No matter who won, we all lose, but GOD DAMN, that was brutally awesome!"

"Konig possesses more training, weaponry, and actual armor, but he has no knowledge of vampires or how to kill them, and nothing in his arsenal can do the job. Plus, both are very hot-headed and impulsive, but Ebony's impulsive behavior results in her saving the day and rapidly coming up with battle plans, trumping the overall strategic style of Konig. Ebony's broom can travel up to 150 mph, something far faster than anything Konig can fight or counter. Ebony is a terrible shot with her gun, but it would be statistically impossible for her to fire literally millions of rounds and miss Konig, something she could do due to Konig's slow, analytical approach. Konig's semblance will also do him in, as Ebony can teleport just like him, and move rapidly around the battlefield, quickly rendering him insane and near-incapable of maintaining a fight. Konig also has no way to counter any form of magic Ebony can use on him, so the fight can end with just one Death Curse, which Ebony knows and has no problem using. Finally, Ebony is a scatterbrain, often falling for those as gothic as her, but she eventually goes back to Draco, so falling for Konig will only delay the inevitable."

"Looks like Konig had a stick up his ass for this fight."

"The winner is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A large black man with an afro and mustache kicks a Klansman in the face, shouting, "Suey,"...

Vs...

A hulking white man with a blonde mullet stabs into a man in a butterfly costume with his Bowie knife, a twisted smile on his crooked face.


	17. Black Dynamite vs Brock Samson

"Hulking badasses with awesome hair are just two of the things that link our two combatants together today."

"They are Black Dynamite, the orphanage-owning pimp, and Brock Samson, the sadistic bodyguard."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>"A well-known figure, Black Dynamite is a man with multiple talents. He runs and orphanage, fights crime with his group, and is a master of Kung Fu."<p>

"He utilizes his skill with his nunchuks, busting skulls and knocking many out-cold. He also does this easily with his fists and kicks. Something tells me..."

"I swear to God, we can't handle another Ray Rice joke lawsuit."

"Shit..."

"He also fires a Smith and Wesson Model 629 Revolver, a .44 Magnum with incredible stopping power."

"Black Dynamite has gotten through some weird shit, like fighting the Black Panthers and KKK at the same time, suck it Al Sharpton! He's fought the likes of an albino King Kong, an alien Michael Jackson, black ninjas, fought for the Player's Ball while sick with the flu, fought manipulative puppets, and Richard Nixon and Elvis, coming out on top each time."

"Black Dynamite is also seemingly untouchable, not once being struck or shot whenever he is in combat."

"But, Black Dynamite isn't perfect. For starters, he's $60,000 in the hole, I'll leave the racist jokes to the comment section."

"A more fight-relevant weakness is his Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder he suffers after fighting in Vietnam, almost getting himself and his crew killed in his state."

"Also, he can't swim, again I'll leave it to the terrible people who leave anonymous comments. But, make sure he doesn't see you post that. One anti-black move and Dynamite will kill you. That, and he learned to swim in order to kill Jaws."

DYNOMITE! DYNOMITE!

* * *

><p>Black Dynamite:<p>

Age: 30's

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 215 lbs.

Weapons:

Nunchuks

S&W Model 629

Feats:

Has never even been touched in a fight

Defeated a group of Klansmen and Black Panthers

Killed Jaws

Outmatched a more trained Mr. Rogers

Stopped a puppet's quest to brainwash children and foiled his son's attempts to kill him

Bested Richard Nixon's attempts to ruin the black community

Weaknesses:

PTSD Flashbacks

Usually fights in a group

* * *

><p>"A promising football star, Brock Samson was ejected from the college team after accidentally killing the quarterback, sparking a history of rage, mental instability, and violence."<p>

"Brock uses his favored Bowie knife to stab and slash through enemies, and he's a damn good aim with it. While he is a great shot, he favors his hand tools as weapons, but that didn't stop him from throwing a handgun hard enough to shatter cardboard...that sounded more badass in my head."

"Brock is trained by the OSI in multiple martial arts, including judo, krav maga, Jiu-Jitsu, boxing, and Muay Thai."

"This guy is no joke. He's locked Edgar Allen Poe in a headlock, killed and skinned a polar bear in seconds, killed a T-Rex, out-wrestled Kano, a massive martial arts expert, and an alligator, killed a dog possessed by Hitler, and is more skilled with his knife than most people are with a gun. Not to mention, once he had a bullet removed, he had 3 others in his body, a blowgun dart, two shark's teeth, a tip of a bayonet, a paperclip, and some buckshot. Oh, and don't forget the fucking vacuum of space!"

"Despite how impressive this is, Brock is very close to going over the edge. Once being told he had to give up his knife, he was shown to have facial contorsions similar to those of a person about to have a mental breakdown."

"He's also gotten kinda fat lately, a thing he will have to combat in the reformation of OSI, or was it S.P.H.I.N.X.?"

"Not sure which one will be revived, but Brock Samson is something that won't need revival any time soon."

"I swear, one of these days, David Bowie, I'm going to kill you."

* * *

><p>Brock Samson:<p>

Age: 52 (As of 2014)

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 225 lbs.

Weapons:

Bowie Knife

Feats:

Has killed a polar bear, T-Rex, alligator, and countless others

Outmatched Kano in a fight

Can detect someone is in his car no matter where he is on Earth

Supernatural knife skills

Survived space and multiple foreign objects stuck in his body

Weaknesses:

Mental health deterioration

Became overweight as series progressed

* * *

><p>"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."<p>

"It's time for a Death Battle."

* * *

><p>Brock leans up against a wall, draped in his massive Led Zeppelin t-shirt and jeans, looking down both sides of the sidewalk before him, a lit cigarette in his mouth. He takes it out to exhale the smoke, a large, black man bumping into him and knocking his cigarette to the cement. Annoyed, Brock taps the man with an afro on his shoulder, saying, "You just cost me my smoke."<p>

The black man slowly turned around, saying, "Step off, cracker, before I crack you."

"Look, I don't have a problem with race, but, you have to have a smoke on you, I mean...a menthol?"

"Oh, white man thinks cause I'm black I smoke menthols. Well, guess what, honky, I do, but you and your cracker-ass band can go fuck yourself. What's your favorite song, Moby Dick for obvious reasons?"

"No one disses Moby Dick, you dick." Brock growled, drawing his knife.

* * *

><p>Brock lunges for Dynamite, the pimp dodging his grab and shooting his foot upward, connecting with Brock's chin and sending him stumbling back. Brock merely grunted and spat the blood out of his mouth, smiling before gesturing Black Dynamite forward. With a grimace and a growl, Black Dynamite holds both halves of his nunchuk in his hand, performing an amazing display of skill with it. Unimpressed, Brock charges in as Dynamite shouts, "Suey," bringing it down on Brock's head.<p>

The wood smacks straight into Brock's hand, jerking it from Black Dynamite's grip before snapping both pieces in his hand like a twig. Growing more angry, Black Dynamite whips out his revolver, firing as Brock runs through the crowd of people, several being struck by the .44 rounds. Brock rounds a corner and dashes into an alley as Black Dynamite continues his pursuit, attempting to shoot his fleeing foe but only getting an empty click from his gun. Black Dynamite quickly reloads his gun, closing his eyes and taking a breath to regain his composure before giving chase once more. He makes it halfway to a halted Samson before the hulk throws his knife at Black Dynamite, slicing his hand and forcing him to drop his gun as he grasped his wound, the knife sailing past and imbedding in a brick wall. Dynamite looked up to see a manic Samson before him, his eyes and mouth twitching uncontrollably. Dynamite attempts a right book but Samson catches his fist, slowly squeezing it tighter and tighter until he nearly crushes his good hand. Dynamite attempts to hit him with his cut hand but Brock again catches it before unleashing a savage flurry of headbutts, dropping the pimp to his knees. Brock finally releases his hands, letting Dynamite drop on all fours before kicking him in the ribs, sending Dynamite skidding a few feet back. Dynamite, shaking and slow, rises to his feet, Brock taunting, "Come on, is that the best you got?!"

Dynamite wiped the blood from his lip and charged at Brock again, the behemoth trotting at him as well. Just as they get within striking distance, Brock clubs both hands together and attempts to smash the pimp. Black Dynamite jukes back and grabs both of Brock's wrists, flipping over him. His smile turning to a violent scowl, Brock turns just as Dynamite leaps into the air, spinning around and kicking Brock in the face, sending him spiraling back but he somehow remains on his feet. Dynamite moves in, spinning around and landing a back kick into Brock's gut, doubling the big man over. Dynamite leaps into the air, his fists clasped together high overhead before he crashes them both down on the back of Samson's head, driving him head-first through the cement, his face buried in the small bit of rubble, blood pouring out from between the shattered debris. "White boy never stood a chance." Dynamite replies before his theme plays.

Dynamite's eyes open wide as he sees Brock stir, the big man pushing himself up and getting to his feet, one eye swelled shut and his face sliced open all over, his look more demented with the bulging, throbbing veins in his face and neck. Dynamite strikes his combat pose as Samson slowly approaches him, Dynamite ducking down and attempting a leg sweep. His attack is stopped as it meets Brock's ankle, not affecting the big man as he raises his foot and stomps on Dynamite's knee, the cracking of bone and Black Dynamite's subsequent shout echoing out of the alleyway. Dynamite crawls back a ways before getting up to a vertical base, hobbling on his one leg at Brock before attempting to chop him in the neck. Brock catches the blow and, in a quick swoop, has Dynamite bent over with his arm high and behind him, his grip on his wrist and shoulder. Brock utters, "You'd be surprised how little force it takes to dislocate a shoulder," he heaves Dynamite's arm upward, marking a clear pop and another shout of pain from Black Dynamite, "but you'd be more surprised how much force it takes to rip an arm off."

Brock kicks into the side of Dynamite's good knee, hyper-extending it and forcing Dynamite to his knees, Brock grabbing his wrist in both hands and putting his foot against Dynamite's armpit. With a might heave and a longer continuation of it, the sound of clothing and flesh tearing signals more agonized howls from Black Dynamite, grabbing the empty socket where his arm once sat. Brock tosses the arm aside before walking back and extracting his knife from the brick wall, walking up to Dynamite once more, lifting him up by his throat as he says, "Don't ever talk shit about Zep, got that?"

Black Dynamite responds, "Fuck you, cracker."

Brock growls before ramming the knife into Dynamite's stomach, his entire arm going through his body. Brock drops the corpse to the ground and hunches over it, slicing his knife into it and placing a few things on himself before turning around, Black Dynamite's mustache and head of hair caked to him, Brock uttering, "Groovy."

**K.O.!**

* * *

><p>"Holy shit! We've seen plenty of things in our time, dismemberment, disembowelment, beheadings, castrations, and a few instances of death by sodomy, but never have we seen someone wear their enemy."<p>

"Brock and Black Dynamite may seem very even opponents, due to their training in the military and expertise in martial arts, but Brock completely overpowers Dynamite in this fight. Black Dynamite is a master of Kung Fu and comes out of every fight unscathed, but Brock rarely does and it never fazes him. Black Dynamite's combat and lawful skills deteriorated with the flu, but Brock had a dozen objects in his body that he never noticed and never affected him, not to mention he survived the vacuum of space, making him significantly tougher. While Dynamite has a gun, Brock is no stranger to surviving gun shots, and being trained in Krav Maga helps him disarm his opponents as quickly and efficiently as possible. Plus, Brock is as skilled with his knife as Dynamite is with his gun. Brock is also proficient in more martial arts than Dynamite, meaning he may not win in a fist or foot fight, but he can cripple, knock out, or kill people with his knowledge of submission holds. Looking at melee weapons, the nunchuk is a very ineffective weapon, due to the force of the swing being not as strong at the free end compared to the end in your hand due to the chain and how it's been tested it takes three hits to crack a human skull. Brock, on the other hand, is superhuman in his knife abilities, able to throw it accurately and give powerful cuts. Finally, Brock is unstoppable in a rage, once taking down an entire group of superhumans while having a flashback of the night he was kicked out of college. Finally, it comes down to combat experience and mentality, Black Dynamite has usually only fought on his home turf, while Brock has fought all over the world. Dynamite loses all control and pose when he thinks of Vietnam while Brock is rarely affected by such events, if anything they make him deadlier."

"Looks like Brock won by more than a hair."

"The winner is Brock Samson."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A man in red space armor points his shotgun at his comrade, asking him if the barrel looks clogged...

Vs...

A man in red with a metal army hat covering over the top half of his head fires a rocket launcher at a Spy, pulverizing him.

**Hey guys, DAM here with a quick announcement. I'm posting on each story I update that I have a poll asking which story I should finish first, not including Death Battle since it is going to run for a LONG time. Also, since I have so many ideas for fights and I can't contain them all, I'll just drop a list of spoilers of their weapons, notable symbols, or just flatout describe one opponent in each fight coming up in no specific order for this and next season:**

**A dead, bloodless goat**

**A woman slicing into the back of giant, skinless humanoid**

**A massive, gorilla-like being hurls a slab of concrete**

**A person covered in tumors coughs uncontrollably as a trail of smoke follows him**

**A Colt Python**

**A Walther PPK**

**A fat boy in a blue and yellow hat**

**A gigantic man shouting down at two knights, causing them pain**

**A right-handed clawed glove**

**A wrecking ball**

**A girl shoots lightning at her char-faced brother**

**A woman splits Reptile in half with her legs**

**A hamster jumps into the eye socket of a hooded skeleton**

**A man appears before a terrified group of knights in a burst of flames**

**An enraged ape snaps the jaws of a monstrous dinosaur**

**A red crowbar slams into a grotesque, crab-like creature**

**A flying man with a red S on his chest**

**A furry creature slowly turns into a grotesque green monster**

**That's it for now guys, thanks so much for all your support, and cite your DAM sources! **


	18. Sarge vs Soldier

"Red, the color we associate with leadership, heroism, and selflessness, something neither of our warriors today have."

"They are Sarge, the colonel of the Reds and Blues, and the Soldier, the dim-wit with a rocket launcher. To clear up any confusion, we are choosing weapons for Sarge based on what he's actually shot or thrown during the series of Red vs Blue and Soldier's non-cosmetic-enhanced weapons."

"He's DAM and I'm Zivon, and we're here to look at their weapons, armor, and abilities to decide who would win a Death Battle."

* * *

><p><p>

"The war in the Blood Gulch was a long endeavor for the Reds and the Blues, made only worse by the incompetent leader of the Reds, Col. Sarge."

"Being a Spartan soldier, he has undergone some level of physical and technological augmentations, it's most likely he didn't get too many since he's, well, an idiot."

"Sarge blasts into battle with the M60 Magnum pistol, though Sarge says it isn't as powerful as it used to be, it can still kill anything with overshield in three headshots."

"But those are only his little toys. His favorite weapon is the M90 shotgun, a pump-action piece with a round so powerful it can only be wielded effectively by those who are super strong, and, since he's carried it from the beginning, it is likely a Mk 1, carrying 12 rounds at once. And, for longer range, he uses the dual-chambered M41 rocket launcher, though he's only shot it at Grif, his ally, and the SRS990-S2 AM sniper rifle, though he usually uses it for scoping out the land or, guess what, attacking Grif."

"Finally, Sarge carries the M6 spartan laser, which requires a few seconds to line up and only has five shots, but anything hit by it dies. Sarge is also encased Mjolnir Assault Armor, a special kind since Simmons says it can deflect bullets and absorb explosions."

"Someone get that shit to Chicago, stat!"

"Sarge has an impressive resume of combat. He has earned the rank of Colonel in the USMC, no easy feat since he is fighting aliens and other Spartans. He has also killed multiple Tex droids, built just like the greatest Spartan since John-117, and the Meta, who matches and possibly eclipses Tex in combat prowess."

"He's also now the leader of both the Blues and the Reds, not to mention their mechanic for drones and Warthogs, and a skilled medical caregiver. But, like we said, the guy's a moron."

"Sarge often comes up with ridiculously unrealistic, even suicidal, battle plans. He is also very willing to sacrifice Grif at any means, even if not necessary."

"Plus, he doesn't like a long range fight, since he sees it as cowardly, favoring his shotgun up-close over all else."

"Despite his shortcomings, Sarge is the leader of the Reds and Blues for a reason."

"You just got Sarge'd!"

* * *

><p><p>

Sarge:

Age: Unknown

Height: Well over 6'

Weight: Likely over 1,000 lbs with armor

Weapons:

M60 Magnum

M90 Shotgun

M41 Rocket Launcher

SRS990-S2 AM Sniper Rifle

M6 Spartan Laser

Armor:

Mjolnir Assault Armor (likely Mark VI)

Feats:

Incredibly skilled with shotgun

Earned rank of Colonel

Leads Reds and Blues

Killed the Meta

Slew dozens of Tex droids

Survived multiple wars and experiments

Weaknesses:

Poor leadership

Terrible tactician and strategist

Willing to sacrifice allies

Breaks down without a battle to fight

* * *

><p><p>

"At first denied from fighting in World War II, the Soldier found his way to Europe and became a killing machine, earning several self-designed and awarded medals in the process."

"He would later get work fighting for the RED company as a mercenary for his prowess in the Gravel War of the late 60's between the RED and BLU corporations. His story is basically like Forrest Gump, but with less inspiration and more of a dipshit."

"The soldier's main arm is the rocket launcher, which carries 4 rockets that can fly at 47 mph, and he is able to use as a rocket jump by firing into the ground, which he takes reduced damage of, unless he takes fall damage."

"The Soldier also has a sawed-off Remington 870, which carries 6 shells to shred opponents up close. But, when things get too close for comfort, he uses the E-tool, a folding shovel with a sharp metal head."

"The soldier is an impressive specimen, fighting Nazis on his own until 1949, long after the war had ended. He is also self-taught in using his weapons since he was never actually in the military, making his repertoire all the more impressive."

"But, the Soldier is really, really fucking stupid. He also listens too well to those who appear to be authority figures, going three days with doing nothing but teleporting bread. Finally, his own favored weapon is his greatest weakness, as his rocket jump can send him high enough in the air to kill him on the way down, or significantly injure him."

"But, as far as idiots go, you never want to take on one with a rocket launcher, especially if it's the Soldier."

"Then, Sun Tzu brought two of every animal onto a boat and beat the tar out of 'em! That's why, whenever you get a large group of animals together in one place, it's called a zoo!"

* * *

><p><p>

Soldier:

Age: Unknown

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 190 lbs.

Weapons:

Rocket Launcher

Remington 870

E-Tool

Feats:

Fought and survived WWII single-handedly

Master of his weaponry without any formal training

Recruited as a mercenary for the Gravel War

Blast of his own rockets barely affect him

Weaknesses:

Incredibly stupid

Adheres to an authoritative figure too easily

Fall of rocket jump can grievously wound or kill him

* * *

><p><p>

"Alright, these combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all."

"It's time for a Death Battle!"

* * *

><p><p>

Sarge walks through the expansive valley of Blood Gulch, waiting, for an aircraft to pick him and his team up after finding the war was just an experiment. He walks up to the top of one of the circular bases, reminiscing about the greatness he hoped to achieve. Sighing at his failure, Sarge turns to head back to his crew towards the other end of the valley, but hears an explosion followed by a smoking man in red flying into the air, landing in front of Sarge on a hand and knee, pushing himself up with a smile on his face. "Did you just explode yourself?" Sarge asked.

"That's classified, maggot!"

"Maggot, come here and check if this shotgun barrel is clogged, asshole."

"For America!" Soldier shouts, loading one more rocket into his launcher.

**FIGHT!**

Soldier wastes no time and fires a rocket into the ground, sending Sarge flying back off the platform to the dirt below, rolling over himself and lying on his stomach, groaning in pain. The Soldier continues the offensive as he rockets into the air once again, shovel raised high. Rolling over and getting his bearings straight, Sarge sees the shouting mad man plummeting down on him. Just as the soldier is about to crash onto the Spartan, Sarge shoots his boot up to the sky, catching the Soldier has he hits the ground, forcing him to drop his shovel as he grabs his shattered manhood, letting out a shrill cry. Sarge quickly follows up with an uppercut sending the Soldier flopping to his back. "Looks like you just don't have the balls for this fight." Sarge quips, drawing his pistol as he gets to his feet.

A woozy soldier gets to his feet just to get blasted in the shoulder, making him grunt in pain and take a step back, clutching his wound. Finally, as the pain grows too much, the soldier drops to a knee, facing the ground as Sarge puts the gun to his head. "Good fight, have a nice trip to Hell."

The Soldier sees his shovel between Sarge's legs, quickly lunging for it and thrusting it up between Sarge's legs, not getting a reaction out of the soldier. "Nice try, but the crotch is well-protected, amigo." the Spartan says, banging his fist against it a few times and receiving a metallic bang each time.

The Soldier takes advantage of Sarge's taunting, backhanding the flat of his shovel into the Spartan's gun, knocking it free. Sarge looks on as the gun skids across the ground, turning to the Soldier and chastising him with, "Hey, asshole, that there is a piece of history, do you have any idea how much we've been through..."

Sarge's rant is cut short with the shovel's edge across the side of his helmet, torquing his head hard to the right as the Soldier follows it up with a backhand, sending Sarge spiraling to the ground in a daze. The Soldier stands above him and continues to mercilessly hack down onto his helmet with his shovel, breaking through the overshield and denting the helmet severely before leaving a damming, web-like crack in the visor, the Spartan unmoving. The Soldier raises his damaged and frayed shovel into the air, banging it against his helmet like a madman as he shouts. But, he once again doubles over in immense pain, Sarge's arm firmly extended and his fist still contacting the Soldier's near shattered balls. "Rule number two," Sarge begins, grabbing the Soldier by shirt and flinging him aside, "double tap."

"I think you...popped one!" the soldier weakly mutters, barely getting to his feet.

"What a coincidence," Sarge exclaims, pulling a massive two-barreled gun off his back, "I got a bigger nut to bust!"

Sarge fires the rocket right at the Soldier's feet, but the mad man leaps high into the air after the explosion, quickly drawing a shotgun and unleashing a barrage of pellets down onto the evasive Sarge. Sarge attempts to fire back up at the Soldier with his second round, the rocket flying straight at the veteran of war. But, the Soldier catches the round, flying higher into the air before managing to redirect it, the rocket flying straight down at Sarge as he hisses, "Shit..."

Another explosion hits Sarge dead on, sending him a great distance across the earth, his armor smoking and charred. The Soldier drops to the ground once more, the sound of his ankle snapping cracking the air, but he had hardly any time to notice, looking on astounded as the Spartan, shaky and battered, rose to his feet, a long rifle in his hand. The soldier picks his rocket launcher off the ground, but he has no time to open fire, for, as soon as he stand straight up, the gun fires, the round ripping through his knee, tearing the limb off, and dropping him to his hands and remaining knee. Screaming in agony, it stops suddenly as the Soldier sticks his index finger up and a light bulb appears above his head, seeming to die before he screws it a few times, shining bright as he grabs his E-tool. He jams the wooden handle into his mangled flesh, standing up with his hands on his hips, growling, "Argh!"

But, another shot ends his pride and tears off his other leg, the Soldier now reaching for his shotgun and ramming it barrel first into his exposed wound, standing up once more with a look and stance of pride. Frustrated, Sarge tosses the sniper aside and approaches the Soldier, shotgun in hand with his arms thrown out wide as he shouts, "Why won't you give up!?"

The Soldier and Sarge push closer and closer, finally at point-blank range. Sarge's shotgun remains in his left hand, aimed at the ground, and the Soldier finally replies, aiming his rocket launcher at the Spartan's head, "I won't quit because the good people of the great USA never do and, when they need me most, I'd rather die than fail my mission!"

"But if you die before you complete it, doesn't that make it a failure?"

The Soldier's determined look changed to that of confusion, the nitwit lowering the aim of his weapon as he looked off in the distance, scratching his chin and searching for an answer. He could find none before a blast hit the air, a hole appearing in the Soldier's stomach, the veteran dropping to his back, weak and making guttural moans. "No guts, no glory!" Sarge shouts, dropping his shotgun before drawing a massive gun over his shoulder.

The soldier tries to crawl back, but Sarge steps on his wounded ankle, cracking it further as a small laser aims down at his head, "Shit, I've got two lines for this, which one do I use? Can I get a do-over on this battle just to say the other?" Sarge asks, looking towards the camera.

"Sure, we'll just rewind." Zivon said.

"Alright. Hey, soldier, you know what my favorite Blue Oyster Cult Song is?" Sarge began, the laser growing larger and the ticking of the gun bringing a sense of urgency.

"Whoa, they say he's got to go! Go, go, Godzilla!" Sarge shouts, just as the red laser fires out of the cannon and obliterates the Soldier's head, sending blood, brain matter, bits of skull, and flesh all about the grass

**Alternate Ending**

"Hey, soldier, guess what I'm doing?"

"What?" the Soldier replies weakly, coughing up more blood.

"IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZA!" Sarge screams, repeating the same results of obliterating the Soldier's skull.

**K.O.!**

"The fuck? Did Sarge just break the fourth wall?"

"I guess? This was a surprisingly close match-up, but Sarge easily took this fight. The Soldier may have more rounds in his rocket launcher and both his and Sarge's rockets have similar speeds, the rockets of Sarge's rocket launcher cause much greater damage, easily killing a person in one blow, where it takes multiple with the Soldier's. The M90 also completely outclassed the sawed-off for greater ammo capacity and killing potential due to its incredibly powerful rounds. The E-tool is also completely useless against the M9 magnum since it can pick off the Soldier from a distance, and nothing could compete with the sniper or Spartan laser, the first able to easily kill those without overshield and the other, well, kills you regardless. Plus, the armor Sarge wears can take explosions and bullets with ease, while the Soldier has nothing whatsoever to protect him from this. While both are very dull people, Sarge is much smarter compared to the Soldier, as he can fix robots and Warthogs while the Soldier can't even paraphrase Sun Tzu or the US Armed Forces correctly. Finally, while factoring in to a lesser degree, Sarge is a very authoritative figure, something the Soldier, if he were RED, with look up to and respect, actually making it possible for Sarge's spell of admiration and make himself that much easier to be killed. Even if it were a BLU Soldier, who has a hatred for anything red, the outcome of the fight would be no different based on everything mentioned previously."

"Looks like a gut-wrenching loss for the Soldier at the hands of Sarge."

"The winner is Sarge."

Next Time on Death Battle:

A man in a horned helm flicks his hand in the air multiple times, an explosion reciprocating his actions each time before King Arthur and his knights...

Vs...

A green woman in a black robe and hat hurls a massive fireball at Dorothy and her crew.

Major Announcement: Starting with our next battle (Can't guess what it is? Check the updated cover photo after each fight to find out!), we are welcoming a new analyst to our crew. Introducing: Hazzamo! Welcome to the fight family, it's an honor to have you!


End file.
